Imposter Syndrome Still Waiting On Assessment

Hi all,

I'm a 34 year old man and a couple of years ago I was convinced by a few family members and my partner at the time to see my GP to request an autism assessment. I have had various OCD and tick traits as well as other autism related symptoms which I was both unaware of and mask at times (apparently unsuccessfully both at home and at work). My personal reasons for seeing my GP were for help with the OCD, ticks, and social difficulties causing me stress but I was encouraged to go for the autism assessment as these are usually linked to ASD.

It took a lot to admit I was struggling with these things and that help would be good but I've had a lot of trouble with even getting on the waiting list. In short, it took four attempts over the space of over a year for two GP surgeries to submit a successful referral.

The first referral I'm convinced they thought I was asking for it for some weird career gain from the odd statements they were making about autism looking good for some tech companies and then their referral was severely lacking in supporting evidence (which I had thoroughly presented with a colour coded Excel spreadsheet of my priority issues) and was rejected soon after because of this.

The second and third referrals I insisted on sending a copy of my spreadsheet with the referral letter and the GP at the new surgery was much more supportive. After a few months with each of those attempts and my repeated chasing they conceded the referrals had been lost and the referral process had to start again. The fourth time was only successful after I personally chased the third referral and found out the GP surgery had been sending the referrals to a centre around 50 miles away which was the incorrect centre AND the correct centre was actually 2 miles down the road from my GP surgery.

After the final successful referral, I was put on the waiting list which was near the start of this year and told this centre has a waiting list of about a year (I had heard similar initially but that time would've been up by now if the first referral had gone through).

The problem I really have is that after initially giving in and admitting I need support I feel left out on my own to deal with things as since the initial referral I also now live on my own (pros and cons) and it feels there's no sign of support any time soon.

Some people have told me to seek out recommended coping methods but I feel foolish doing so without an official diagnosis. I strongly feel (or even know) I have multiple OCD traits, multiple tourettes traits, and social anxiety issues but I feel like a fraud self diagnosing despite the potential it might help me.

Another reason for the diagnosis is to give me the freedom to mask less  (especially the ticks as they stress me out suppressing) because I can explain I have a medical diagnosis.

I really do feel stuck and a little bit hopeless especially with the lockdown and friends/family can only give limited support. Any advice would be helpful please even if it's not feeling alone in this position.

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