Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. Joined a few weeks ago after self-identifying, and have begun the process of an official diagnosis a few days ago.
I am pretty convinced that I have Aspergers/HFA, but after reading the posts on here I feel that perhaps my symptoms are not as bad as I thought. Relationships have suffered throughout my life, I stim, have anxiety issues... but is it crippling? No.
I lead a relatively normal life. Married with a child. Successful career. But I always put my foot in it. Say inappropriate things. My tics are discreet but ongoing. Man of very few friends. Can be obsessive. Scored 44 on ASQ and 10 on EQ. But then I read some of the posts on here...
So - are the issues many of you face on here typical for somebody suffering from Aspergers? I read about suicidal thoughts, being afraid of the outside world, crippling anxiety, and an inkling of doubt starts to creep in!
I'm diagnosed. Still I'm married, have two children (15 and 18) and have a well paid job.
I seem to run into same obstacles as you, saying the wrong things, few friends, not knowing what to say when in smalltalk-situations, usually I have one or two things that I'm really interested in and try to know all about.
I also prefer to stay home in the weekends, vacations are also not really my thing.
Well met.
The diagnosis is not something to go light about. Take good preparations about it. Once it's confirmed, it still takes a bit of a mourning process. The diagnosis will also show some areas where you're stronger. I seem to be adequate at learning (not super), medium at planning ahead (clumsy, chaotic, …), but very high score on spatial thinking and language, and just an average memory... I have a job that combines finance/accounting and IT, heaven for me.
Thank you for the 'comforting' comments, and the advice. You sound very similar to me.
Oh don't you worry, I will go in prepared. I have begun putting together two separate notebooks split by the two DSM-5 categories with traits and examples listed against the subcategories. Preparedness is the one thing many of us are renowned for once we become obsessed by a subject!
I also read in the comment from Plastic something that I recognise… around the age of 40 comes a difficult point. That's very common, I hear that often. My guess is until then we could deal with life with pure muscle-power, they tell you 'life is hard', and you just get on with it.
Now I have a different mindset… I made it well enough in life, this part of my life is the bonus game for me. The children (15 and 18) are able bodied and level headed, the house is almost paid for, I don't enjoy vacations and a Toyota Aygo is as good for me as a Jaguar, so I don't need to turn life into a race. And that mindset changes a lot,
The fact that you prepare well is a good thing, to me the confirmation of the diagnose was like Darwin's theory of evolution, everything that seemed odd about me suddenly had an explanation.
What's strange, I started to worry about how obvious it was to other people that I have this condition that sets me apart. Intense staring, robotic voice, …
Also important, allow yourself a couple of months after the diagnose where you just let it all sink in, it's tempting to start immediately shuffling things around, make your house autism-friendly, find a job that fits you better, but it's better to take that really easy.
.. I'm '50 something' .. and who ever said that the 'something' had to be 9 or less :-D
I am 51 and a bit :-) (POST EDIT) sorry i deleted some personal info that i regretted posting. I'm not able to yet but I hope to in a few years.
I hope you also had the option to take it easier afterwards?
I have hit this wall, but I was 51 when it happened.