Published on 12, July, 2020
Not much is available where I live that suits me. I keep checking to see if a small or at least cheap-ish bungalow or house come up because I don't know if I can face living in a flat anymore. The noise from neighbours above or below me feels just that little bit too much to take. It drives me up the walls.
There's still noise with many houses and bungalows but because it's to the sides I feel that's easier. In both the flats I've lived in I've had situations where when I've moved about the neighbour makes more noise moving around and opening and closing things, or doing stuff that makes noise, as well. In the previous flat I owned and the current one I felt and do feel claustrophobic, that my every move is being reacted to or noticed.
It's wanting to get away from that that is on my mind so much. Maybe I should try to move into a house or bungalow that seems out of my budget. Eek I hate not being very wealthy. I worry about things so much. Maybe I don't need as much money as I think, perhaps it would be worth having less money if I lived somewhere where I felt at peace. I might get more done, more reading, studying, pursuing my hobbies, feel less stressed, more able to relax and enjoy things.
Decisions, decisions!
I told my therapist today that whatever I post online here, anywhere, I mostly get ignored and disliked. They didn't believe me or argued against what I said (not in an aggressive way, in a debating kind of way).
Once again, I underestimated my own intelligence in conceding victory in the to-and-fro of ideas and rhetoric to her. I knew I didn't belong here. Why did I not listen to my own gut?
A tip to you all. In future, if you don't like someone just don't reply to any of their posts. That way they'll stop annoying you in a more prompt timeframe.
Nobody is interested in the abuse I've received. Wall of silence and indifference, hey, what a surprise. Welcome to the Disunited Kingdom of peoppe who don't give a damn.
I think a lot of people were busy running around and readjusting to the changes in lockdown from 1 June. See how popular your post has become after a little while.
I get very anxious after starting a thread, if no-one joins in, but give it some time. I also noticed the notifications werent working a few days ago.
Sometimes the thread goes in different directions too, but we are just humans bumbling around too.
My life improved immeasurably after moving from a flat. I didnt post it because a) it sounds like gloating, although I did it in my 40's, and B) I don't want to encourage possible financial strain on someone else. I would rather live in a place 10 foot wide with neighbours at the sides than have upstairs and downstairs neighbours.
Something about the sounds from a neighbour upstairs penetrates all forms of earplug, because it's more a vibration you can feel than a sound you hear.