Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello.
I have not been diagnosed, but I have been reading the threads on here and the following apply to me:
obsessive exercise regime and feeling guilt for eating certain ‘bad’ foods that have a high calorie content.
routines that are detrimental and have resulted in lack of experimentation and exposure to more of what life might have to offer.
eating the same foods all the time.
a breakdown in communication with most of my family.
a lack of general care for the welfare of other humans.
an inability to express feelings or emotions about my fiancé.
obsessing over topics such as animal care, car construction and, for example, reading these threads.
reading over what I have written in an email over and over again.
repeatedly feeling like I say the wrong things in conversation and others feel awkward. looking away from others when I have to talk during a conversation.
obsessively picking at my fingertips and making them bleed. This is to ensure that there are no loose bits of skin.
being very sensitive or angry when I hear someone whistling, cutlery scraping on plates and people clearing their throats.
repeatedly being called “blunt” by colleagues.
in childhood:
taking toy cars and pretending to park them in designated spaces on a mat repeatedly.
I don’t remember much else about my childhood because I may have blocked it out due to sexual abuse by my father.
I am a 38 year old female teacher. How can I have got this far into life and only just realised that I might be autistic?
Greetings, you certainly appear to have "Aspie" traits :) Have you tried taking the ASQ and EQ tests ??
ASQ - https://psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient
EQ - https://psychology-tools.com/test/empathy-quotient
I've done the first test many times, most recently I scored 44. Never seen the second test and just scored 10! I better press ahead on getting my diagnosis!
Well your scores pretty much seal the deal?
As per of my private assessment, I scored 41 and 7. There was another test the CAT-Q which showed signs of social masking and camouflaging. I didn't complete the RQ test as there were no relatives to interview about my early life. There were some generic questions about childhood, in my case it took me ages to tie my laces and neck ties, I was a late reader but I couldn't provide any information on how I got on as a child.
My problem is I remember almost nothing from my childhood - in fact, I struggle to recall anything involving long term memory. I read that autistic people tend to have very good long term memory but that definitely is not the case for me.