Published on 12, July, 2020
28 F) I become furiously angry trying to learn math and this makes it even more difficult to concentrate because I end up either giving up or skipping through parts I should be paying more attention to out of resentment that I don't "get it" right away. Every other subject I have no issues learning or retaining information. It's been this way since early childhood and now it's the Achilles heel that is preventing me from graduating from college (I've taken college Calculus 5 times!)
I feel ridiculous/ashamed as a 28 yr old adult throwing an inner temper tantrum simply bc I don't immediately understand something, but after going to tutoring/therapy/wasting hours staring at the same tutorials I'm still stuck in the same spot, which leads to even more frustration and wanting to just give up.
Logically, I know I'm capable of learning if I can get past this mental block, just not sure how to stop feeling triggered/anxious/terrified by math. Any suggestions on how to make learning something you don't enjoy more interesting? Thanks in advance
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I took English language O level 5 times before I passed. My teacher couldn't understand why I kept failing. In the end he entered me to take the exam that adults did for night classes rather than the one normal for school children my age. I don't know if this sort of thing is an option for you. Doing the same thing for the same result over & over tells me that perhaps you need to try something different.
Secondly what goal is involved in your passing? You say it's to graduate college. What specifically does graduation get you? A job you particularly want? Having a specific & desired goal may help in motivation.
There is the possibility that your ASD means you will just not 'get' maths, at least in the near future. What other options have you?
As for the anger, my recommendation is to research detachment techniques such those used by psychologists to stop themselves 'burning out'.