Published on 12, July, 2020
This is something which bugs me a lot so I’ve decided to voice it - I’ve seen it in here and in the world around me and it seems to be happening more and more - people playing the autism card. For absolute clarity, I wholeheartedly believe employers etc should make reasonable adjustments for ASD where there is a genuine need, but too often I am seeing people try to use their autism as a means of getting more or justifying actions which aren’t right.
As someone on the spectrum, I don’t want to stand out, I don’t want others thinking I’m getting specialist treatment or get away with stuff because I’m autistic. Drawing attention to the autistic cause negatively isn’t going to help anyone, least of all ourselves.
For example people have posted on here saying they feel they should get to break social distancing/ lockdown rules because they are autistic (despite the fact that this puts them and others at risk), a year or two back I knew an autistic guy who set off an alarm because he didn’t get his way, the real reason was because he was annoyed at someone and generally throws his toys out of the pram when he doesn’t get his own way - his defence was ‘I am autistic’ - so I challenged him on this, and he eventually conceded that he used his ASD to cover up for his behaviours. The same I feel applies to violence or other bad/ anti-social behaviour - there is a huge difference between a trait being activated and a learned behaviour to deal with it. If someone says ‘I hit that person because I wasn’t coping with a particular trait being triggered’ - that’s a fair statement. To say It hit that person because I’m autistic’ is not - I accept there are links and I gave more sympathy for young children on this one who don’t understand law, social norms and values etc but as adults we have to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
So yes we should (if we want to) disclose ASD so as reasonable adjustments are made, but I wish people would stop misusing autism as an excuse where it shouldn’t be used. I worry people will tire of ‘but it’s because I’m autistic’ to the extent that genuine needs will get brushed aside - so everybody loses.
*Rant over*
I think a lot of people want to fit in and appear normal. I don't want to play the autism card and get advantages, and I very forcefully feel that autism is a reason, not an excuse.
So I don't break the law and blame autism. I don't act nastily towards people on purpose and blame autism. I do act nastily towards people without intending to and autism is often the reason for that, but even there, I don't want to use it as an excuse.
The few times I tell a stranger it's because I'm doing something like filling in a tax return. Ringing HMRC to ask for help is stressful, telling them that I need help because their written guidance has seventeen different interpretations would annoy them. Telling them that I have an NHS diagnosed autism spectrum disorder and that I'm struggling with their form gets me sympathetic help to assure I fill it in properly.
So my attitude towards others is distaste when they portray themselves as victims and seek advantage as a result. People with difficulties and needs will find it much harder to access the help they need if the goodwill and investment behind that help has been lost to people exploiting the system.