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Why am I not changing

Matthew

Why? My wife buys me books I part read never finish.

We repeat discussions.

Shes intelligient switched on.

Am I being lazy, why am I not getting results.

I want to improve, I understand what I will lose.

I'm not motivated by my wife as I know i cause her to be angry, and the anger makes me not want to spend time with her.

I know I need to change, she explains how i need to change.

She's worried I'll never meet her needs, and I won't whilst I try to avoid her whlist she's angry at me.

Any thoughts welcome

Parents

  • Why is it her job to improve you?  Why not look for what you wish to do and do it?  
    When a relationship is based on one person fixing another, it means one acts as the adult and the other as the child.  While you both have assets and liabilities the focus is on fixing you.   Consider seeing a therapist either individually or as a couple as you need to get back to why you choose each other. 

Reply

  • Why is it her job to improve you?  Why not look for what you wish to do and do it?  
    When a relationship is based on one person fixing another, it means one acts as the adult and the other as the child.  While you both have assets and liabilities the focus is on fixing you.   Consider seeing a therapist either individually or as a couple as you need to get back to why you choose each other. 

Children
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