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Angry hurt Wife please help

Matthew

The loop I cause my wife to have no buffer for our kids.

I don't share 50% of the mental load of kids.

I do what I can in my comfort zone, this puts added pressure on wife.

I accept acknowledge this.

I don't accept her swearing at me and kids and she knows she shouldn't.

If i speak up after trying to give her yeah things are hard for you, and eventually i'm this isnt cool, yes i know why you do it, yes i acknowldge you know you shouldnt do this.

I don't know how to get her to stop,

especially arguing in front of kids and speaking to me like crap.

Yes I know she's tired fatigued triggered by our son being grumpy and ruining her walk.

Yes I know the demands on her of me and son wear on her.

But i feel im allowing me and kids to be abused, yes I understand the justification that me and kids are causing it.

Yes i understand that its not fair on her.

Yes me forgetting things puts pressure on her.

What the heck do i do.

Please give me some idea as im stuck solving this issue.

I get she's hurt

Parents

  • I dont know the full situation but is your wife super stressed? I get really stressed as I cant leave my husband with our son so that I can get abreak for an hour. He will go out and leave our son home or get wrapped up in his projects and forget him. Leaving me without a break. Its exhausting especially in lockdown. Plus he wont play with our son or do anything with him or cook, medicine etc. Does your wife get a break?

  • in reply to mouse2

    Hi Mouse2

    Before lock down I would take kids out 5-7 days a week 2-6hrs a day to give wife break as we home ed.

    She could only go out if I've taken kids out to avoid potential stress of kids getting upset her going out.

    During lock down has been harder.

    My wife co - sleeps with kids, so mostly gets bad nights sleeps, so quite a few mornings she will go back to bed and I'll look after kids, issue and stress is me staying enaged so they don't bother her.

    Whilst trying to do house work and admin.

    And I love kids always playing with them Slight smile

    Issue is i don't share mental load with wife, that she does every night bedtime as im working and feeds most meals, clothes them. any meds they need.

    Thanks for listening

Reply
  • in reply to mouse2

    Hi Mouse2

    Before lock down I would take kids out 5-7 days a week 2-6hrs a day to give wife break as we home ed.

    She could only go out if I've taken kids out to avoid potential stress of kids getting upset her going out.

    During lock down has been harder.

    My wife co - sleeps with kids, so mostly gets bad nights sleeps, so quite a few mornings she will go back to bed and I'll look after kids, issue and stress is me staying enaged so they don't bother her.

    Whilst trying to do house work and admin.

    And I love kids always playing with them Slight smile

    Issue is i don't share mental load with wife, that she does every night bedtime as im working and feeds most meals, clothes them. any meds they need.

    Thanks for listening

Children
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