Eye contact

I understand you. I struggle with eye contact and its usually a selective eye contact than constant. I don't keep eye contact for long as I am unsure of whether or not I'm supposed to look at the other person for too long or not. I told the diagnostic team when asked about eye contact that I'll Try and make eye contact but it feels painful for me to keep the eye contact. Under stressful situations I’m a lot worse. If i am interested in something else such as a movie or show, i wont look at the person talking to me. 

I don't feel like I want to conform to societies expectations of eye contact due to the fact it is genuinely an issue and hurts to try to keep up the act. 

I am unsure if i have answered your question but it might give you an idea of how it is for other too. 

Thank you for your response, I haven't really noticed during calmer moments any issues with eye contact, no one has ever called me out for it. But my partner does during arguments or if I'm emotional for whatever reason, or if the topic of conversation is difficult, she asks me to look at her, I'm evidently not doing so at the time as she wouldnt otherwise say. And then conversation moves on to eye contact and it went move on until I've at least looked at her for very brief moment. I don't know why it is an issue for her, or me, but it is becoming one :( and I have no idea how to solve the problem x

I’m sorry you're having a difficult time. It is difficult to get others to understand. I have known for a long time that I'm autistic but nobody helped to get me diagnosed until I did myself. I am 22 now and got my diagnosis in March along with my dyslexia and other learning difficulties diagnosis. 

I'm lucky because my 5 year old brother and 3 year old sister are both autistic so my mam understands. But my older sister refuses to acknowledge the ASD diagnosis and so does a few people in my family such as my grandad. Most people forget that adults are and will continue to be autistic, you don't just stop having gun autism at the age of 18 and should know how to ‘act normal’ by then. This is my normal. 

If it is an issue you could talk to your doctor and they may be able to refer you to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help train your focus for Eye Contact. But don't feel like you have to do this, I am finally learning to just be who I have to be, as I said, eye contact is painful for me, physically and mentally. I get a stabbing pain in the front of my head telling me to break eye contact and continues until I do look away. Not sure if its physical or in my head. But others are starting to deal with it and realise I can't help doing it.

I hope this helps a little more, and don't worry, there’s plenty of support when you need it from here and other professionals like doctors

x

Thank you, that's really helpful. I hadn't considered that a doctor or CBT may be able to help. 

I just find it so so frustrating that something so seemingly simple is so difficult to do but equally as frustrating is the idea that it's even needed!

Thank you, that's really helpful. I hadn't considered that a doctor or CBT may be able to help. 

I just find it so so frustrating that something so seemingly simple is so difficult to do but equally as frustrating is the idea that it's even needed!