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Should I actually be in a relationship!

The Riddler

Recently Ive been finding it more and more difficult to live with my partner. I don’t know if lockdown is making it worse, but I just don’t enjoy them being around. I feel like an outsider in my own home and I’m under constant pressure to do things and go to places I don’t want to (pre Covid19 obviously). It’s made more difficult because we have a child, but to be honest she is noisy and drives me mad. I really envy Chris Packham, I just want to live on my own in the woods! Really not sure what to do.

  • in reply to DaveAsperg

    Thanks. We’ve had a chat and started some dialogue. Hope this will improve things.

  • We all have different approaches, but mine would be to talk with my partner and try and come up with an agreed solution. We all want some independence but have responsibilities and need to fit somewhere and look to the future.

    I like tables and I would have headings of what we each want, what is best for the child etc.  But then I am very analytical

  • in reply to The Riddler

    I tried to think of an essential errand to send my partner on. It keeps backfiring and I think they know I'm just trying to get them to go out.. 

    Stay strong, the easing will come. I'm going to go on a solo picnic as soon as I can. 

  • in reply to Plectrum

    I think you’re right. I feel suffocated by everyone. I had to get out of the house today because it all got too much. Maybe I need to factor in time to get out on my own.

  • Hi there, of course I don't know the details of your situation, but I feel like a pressure cooker about to blow. Due to the lockdown I never get 10 minutes on my own. I need time alone to cope with the anxiety of life, and I am never alone, at least for the last many weeks. It makes me hate my partner, completely.

    I need to miss my partner a bit, else I feel as though they are too overwhelming 

  • Have you explained all this to your partner?      How old is your daughter?     Kids become more interactive and more interesting as they get older - and you can go places to enjoy days out with them.      

    I totally appreciate your wish to run away and abandon all responsibility - it's normal - everyone has those thoughts when things are not perfect.

    You might also have fallen into the trap of being poor at conversations so accidentally agreeing with your partner's wishes and getting railroaded  into a bad place.      Odds are your partner doesn't mean to make you feel this way, but feels you have agreed with everything that's going on and doesn't know you feel this way.

    Are you able to write everything down for them?    It sounds strange but e-mail conversation about stuff allows you to think clearly before replying.    The time delay allows you to keep your brain from overloading in the heat of the exchange.

    Good luck.