Is Isolation easier due to our Autism?

Yeah true. I think I’ll just clap in front of the TV tomorrow 

I can't see what difference it makes where you are sat when you clap, the point is you clapped to acknowledge the NHS. if itt feels safer to do it in the house just do it in front of the TV when they're showing it on TV. you're still 'joining in' if you're doing it at the same time as the rest of the country.

And besides you're Autistic, if it causes too much stress/distress to do it outside then you shouldn't have to

Yeah it’s a bit of a difficult one, because now I’ve started the Thursday night sky clapping, it’s difficult to stop without raising a few eyebrows  I think I’ll maybe gradually phase it out. 

It seems from everyone's comments in general there is relief of a break from the 'expectation to appear normal' or comply with the NT's views of fitting in to a normal world by forcing yourself to go to work daily like everyone else.

with regard to the dogs...can you take them out really early like 5-6am when no-one else is about that way they don't see anyone but you could still let them have off-lead time to run about if no-one else was around?

Tell them you're in the shielded group so lockdown won't be over for you when it is for everyone else! You have to wait for the vaccine (another 12-18 months off they say) and get everything delivered to your door so you don't have to go out.  The coronavirus is the best  'acceptable excuse ' for years to avoid social obligations and live in isolation if thats what you really want!

Luckily I have a front door (well it's kind of at the side of the house) and a back door.  so my 'front door is under a car port and faces the fence at the other side of my drive and there's no houses directly opposite so no-one would know if I was sat in my front doorway clapping anyway.  The back door looks out onto my back garden.

If I'm watching telly at the time they are showing people clapping I will clap a bit but where I am sat, I don't go outside to clap. Besides if the neighbour to front side asks I'd say I was at the back door and if someone who could see in to my back garden (from their upstairs window) said anything I'd say I was at the front door but as I told the 'gossipy neighbour' I had immune problems so had to avoid close contact (knowing she would tell the other neighbours for me) no-one knocks on the door! ...and I deliberately take the dog out really early while everyone else is still in bed.

Fortunately I live on my own so can do what I want!

I’m the same Kit, I don’t have a problem with the lockdown at all. I actually enjoy not feeling pressure to be sociable. When I’m on my walks, just a quick nod or hello to a passer by, then keep going. That does me fine 

I agree with you and the post above about Thursday nights. At first I thought it was just a one off. But every week seems a bit much, plus it seems to come round really quick  I have still been doing it, but I feel awkward. I usually just clap for about a minute, then wave to a few neighbours, then quickly get indoors. I also feel that if I don’t go out, people will think I’m being rude or uncaring. It’s a bit of a difficult one. Plus to add even more pressure, one neighbour suggested about having some kind of street party when this is all over! Not being horrible, but I really don’t like parties or big gatherings. So I’m kind of hoping the party doesn’t happen  

I have found this pretty tough too and worked myself up enough to do it the first week out on the doorstep and then when I realised it was going to be every week and not just a one off the panic sunk in! I completely appreciate all the efforts made in this time but I too dread Thursday evenings! 
Now neighbours are adding pots and pans to the claps and it is all a bit much to face fully. My family have been great and knew I really wasn’t coping too well with it and now instead we go to the top bedroom window and have that wide open so we can join in without it feeling to pressurised. It also makes it a lot easier with that awkward ending the street seems to have on working out who goes inside first - may not help you but I have definitely found it much more bearable out of the window than on the front doorstep. It’s my answer to being involved in the clap without having to go outside or feel bad for hiding away may be worth offering as a compromise to your wife so you can do this together 

The one thing I forgot to mention in my earlier post is I dread Thursday nights. My wife obviously knows I'm autistic, but I sense she's still disappointed I can't bring myself to clap for the NHS. I also panic about what the neighbours might think about my absence.

In my mind I'm clapping away, and I use that time on a Thursday to reflect on what a fantastic job the NHS are doing, but I can't display a public show of clapping. I get anxious on Thursdays until it's over.

I'm an obsessive "twitcher" (as a birding term). I chase after rare birds up and down the country, and that's where I get my real buzz. I love seeing and photographing local birds, but the big "rares" are usually coastal, and especially on off-shore islands.

I'm allowing the fact that some birders are posting reports of what they've seen with accompanying photographs to really get to me, especially when I know they will have driven to see the birds.

No matter how rare the bird, I will follow the Govt. guidelines to the letter.

Things haven't changed much for me, I didn't really leave the house before all of this so it's not much of a change. I like to play video games and watch films/tv/documentaries so all my hobbies are indoor things anyway. We always went shopping fortnightly anyway so that's no different(other then the initial bare shelves), the only major change for me personally is that I can't walk the dogs more than once a day.

One of our dogs is a massive people person and not being able to go near anyone the past several weeks has made her a bit crazy, when we see people on our walk she starts barking and once they are far enough away she starts whimpering because they didn't come over to stroke her. It's made the other dog super anxious, more so then she was before, she was a little wary of everything before all of this. Now with people crossing the street, I'm assuming she's picking up on the tension and anxiety other people are giving off it's put her on high alert. So the dogs have gone from one being super friendly and the other a bit quieter but still allowing some people to stroke her to the pair of them barking their heads off at everyone. Then one basically crying because she's getting no attention and the other growling because she thinks we are in danger somehow.

The only really tricky thing has been my teenage daughter, just before the lockdown we had a lot of arguments because she thought it was unfair that she was "trapped at home" when her friends were all out together. When lockdown happened it was a bit of an I told you so moment - because people like her friends wouldn't stick to social distancing so the whole country is now in lockdown. She's missed her best friend the most they were together most of the time, obviously at school but most weekends she was either at her friends or her friend was over here. On the flip side she has spent a lot more time with us, we've played a lot of games together, watched a lot of documentaries and had many laughs and late nights together.

I think the lack of friends is probably why this hasn't affected me so much, if I was a fairly sociable or active person then maybe this would have affected me more. I can imagine how difficult it must be for someone who is used to going out to eat a few times a week, playing a sport and seeing friends at the weekend to suddenly being stuck at home 24/7 it would be very difficult. At least we live in a time where technology is so advanced people can still 'see' each other via zoom, facetime etc. Online shopping is available, internet forums, Facebook, youtube, Netflix etc it means people can stay in touch and be entertained/keep active so much more, imagine how hard this would have been if it happened 20 years ago!

I thought I had a good friendship. I was told a person considered me their best friend years ago. I had no idea this had changed in their mind until they were going to get married and I wasn't one of the 'chosen' people who were told before it was announced on social media. And I only expected I would be cos I believed that was 'normal' as my bro had told me that he told his 'best friend' before he was going to ask his the gf's dad for her hand in marriage. ..and his gf told her best friend first after he asked her.

I was gutted at the time to find out via social media I was no longer even considered even one of their best friends as they'd tagged in the people who were told before they announcing it. (and I wasn't one of them!). I guess the feeling was made alot worse by the fact that my eldest dog who had been my support dog 15 years passed away a few weeks after seeing that post so in my mind I'd then lost 2 of what I considered 'my best friends ever' within a month. It triggered a major depression it was taken years for me to get through. 

Literally the only thing that kept me going was the fact that I already had a younger dog too (almost 4yo when the elder dog died), so he'd lost his companion that he'd grown up with too (as I'd had him from 8 weeks old) and he still needed walking and feeding every day. I'd promised an home for life so felt I had at least had to keep going to be here for the rest of his life, regardless of whether I enjoyed life anymore or not.

I left my social media page after I'd left the tribute (to my dog) that I'd wanted to put up and never went back. I see no point in making friends with others for them to do the same to me further down the line.

I love bird watching too. I've been getting up really early to take my dog to the park when no-one else is about (like 5am) loads of birds around then for the dawn chorus, had some lovely sunrise photo's and seen some birds I haven't usually seen when I used to be out even a couple of hours later when more people are about.  Can you not slip out really early when most are still in bed?  Maybe just see what birds are in your immediate area if you can't get to where you'd normally go to birdwatch?
Our nature park is bliss cos car park is closed so people aren't driving there to walk their dogs literally have the place to ourselves and people are allowed to go out for exercise once a day!  Any parks nearby you could cycle to in early hours or something?

It's mixed for me. I have no problem with the actual isolation. In fact it's a blessing to be removed from the normal social interactions that I find challenging. I feel better equipped to cope than my family and colleagues.

However, I find going out harder than before, and as some have said fear getting the social distancing wrong, with the pressure that brings with it.

I also have an obsessive hobby, and because I can't indulge in that, I'm finding it a challenge; especially as I see others who are either ignoring guidelines and still participating, or being lucky to live in a more favourable area that supports it, (birdwatching).

I find I am also obsessing about people who are not complying with the guidelines, and am letting those thoughts of frustration overwhelm me.

Working from home can also be challenging as I'm lacking structure and allowing my mind to wander too much.

I do sometimes feel quite opressed on occasions as well.

Having said that I'm liking the knowledge no-one will be unexpectedly knocking on the door, or family asking g me at short notice to call round. The general quieter pace and sounds are great.

So it's a mixed bag.

Yes, I feel the same way and do you know what's really sad? Autistic people like us feel so alone with this type of thinking. I haven't met anyone in person who would say what you just wrote down but there are some people who do share these feelings. It seems like our only chance for a close friendship is to befriend people among us because NTs will never fully understand us. I have always struggled with friendships no matter how loyal I am in a friendship. I have put a lot of time and effort into them. I know some NT people who put literally zero effort into maintaining friendships, yet, they have friends. Autism is a really odd thing. Sometimes the harder you try, the less you succeed so isolation can be somewhat beneficial. No disappointments. 

I completely relate to all this. I struggled with the first week or two of lockdown - not knowing what to do with myself + missing so many different people I usually see out on a daily basis. But once I got used to it, found plenty I could do to keep myself occupied at home + working another routine out, I was much better. Struggle much more going shopping at the moment too with all the new current strict rules. Although I'm partly looking forward to the return of normality, I'm a bit worried about the noise and hassle it's likely to cause at first too. 

Stay Safe and Well Everyone

Kerry

yeah I think had I not already got some extra food in for winter anyway (if I get snowed in, sometimes a delivery gets cancelled and I only shopped once a fortnight anyway) so I usually have an extra month's in anyway for when it usually snows up here (usually between jan-march if its going to snow). so I did have tinned soups in for lunch and the freezers were full. only fresh stuff that was the problem. I think that would have caused more panic seeing all the reports and photos of empty shelves in the news than it did.

I was worried about not being able to get birthday presents for family when they were talking about only foods and medicines get delivered not 'non-essentials' but then people still seemed to be selling things online.  Again this is more related to the 'routine' of the birthday being one of the few times I go out socially. Had to miss 2 birthdays and visiting step mother for mothers day as she is over 70 and was self isolating too as also vulnerable. (I can't drive either so would have had to be taken by brother who is still going to work as he's classed as a 'keyworker'.

Another family birthday coming up that looks like we're all still going go be in lockdown for then it's mine in a couple of months. so at this rate no idea whether I'm even gonna get to go anywhere for mine and will by then have been isolated for 6 months where I'd normally have at least been out a couple of times for meals or had a couple of visits from family/friends in that same time period to break up the time.

Having a dog helps me have some routine to the day still as I'm having to get up really early to get him out so we can avoid having to pass other people, so that helps with still feeling I've got something 'to get up for'. Does make the days feel really long though!

I think it is for some people but not others. If you are introverted then it definitely helps but for some people on the spectrum it seems to be causing a lot of anxiety the ways things have changed and not having a structure

I've experienced the same issues with lunch breaks in previous jobs, but where I work now there is no canteen or lunch area - some people eat lunch at their desk, but most either go out or go home (we have some staff who only work mornings). Those who stay in and eat at their desk usually go on the internet or read the newspaper while they eat and phones are switched off, so it's normally nice & quiet. perhaps I'm working for a secretly autistic organisation?