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Is Isolation easier due to our Autism?

Kit McDaydream

Don't know about anyone else but I always enjoyed my own company even as a child. Don't know if that's cos I never understood other kids or they usually ended up bullying me so playing with others was not enjoyable.

Did manage to have friends and go to college and work and stuff in my twenties but by thirties was suffering from severe burnout and really wanted my own space again, no social pressures to comply with 'normal' and just do my own thing so feel I'm really thriving in this 'pandemic' situation....  Had 2 months to myself don't have to be visited by people i really don't want to see but feel I have to  to comply with being seen as 'normal', cos now its more important that I'm not in contact with anyone who could give me covid19  (am in vulnerable group due to other medical issues thankfully!)

Glad I live rurally so I can slip out at 5am and have the fields/etc to myself t walk my dog and suddenly its perfectly acceptable to go out of your way to avoid someone coming the other way (not that I see anyone at that time) or to avoid going out at a time where more people would be about. Spend rest of day drawing, painting, playing video games and sitting in garden with the dog. Perfectly happy and no need for other humans.

Only problem I have is sunny weather bringing the neighbours and the noisy brats out so can't enjoy my garden at 'peak times' (when usually they'd be at school/work during the week) but finally decided on some noise cancelling headphones to solve that issue.

Dreading things going back to normal and 'social expectations' going back to normal so hoping this 'bubble' idea govt has takes off where you're limited to one or two households of close family which enables me to conveniently still avoid some social expectations whilst still been able to see close family for our birthdays over summer.

NT's are complaining of loneliness and boredom but I'm happiest I've been for a long while. Just wondered if other autistic's felt the same?  Obviously there's going to be some people who need other people as carers for physical/daily living tasks, but if you're autistic and live alone (and have done for years) do you find you're NOT experiencing self-isolation the same as NT's? 

or are you an autistic person who feels they need constant reassurance from NT's that what you're doing is acceptable and seen to be 'fitting in'?   ..and finding it difficult not having other people around you to give that constant reassurance? (ie through being at work daily).

Kit

Parents

  • Yes, I feel the same way and do you know what's really sad? Autistic people like us feel so alone with this type of thinking. I haven't met anyone in person who would say what you just wrote down but there are some people who do share these feelings. It seems like our only chance for a close friendship is to befriend people among us because NTs will never fully understand us. I have always struggled with friendships no matter how loyal I am in a friendship. I have put a lot of time and effort into them. I know some NT people who put literally zero effort into maintaining friendships, yet, they have friends. Autism is a really odd thing. Sometimes the harder you try, the less you succeed so isolation can be somewhat beneficial. No disappointments. 

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  • Yes, I feel the same way and do you know what's really sad? Autistic people like us feel so alone with this type of thinking. I haven't met anyone in person who would say what you just wrote down but there are some people who do share these feelings. It seems like our only chance for a close friendship is to befriend people among us because NTs will never fully understand us. I have always struggled with friendships no matter how loyal I am in a friendship. I have put a lot of time and effort into them. I know some NT people who put literally zero effort into maintaining friendships, yet, they have friends. Autism is a really odd thing. Sometimes the harder you try, the less you succeed so isolation can be somewhat beneficial. No disappointments. 

Children
  • in reply to NAS67092

    I thought I had a good friendship. I was told a person considered me their best friend years ago. I had no idea this had changed in their mind until they were going to get married and I wasn't one of the 'chosen' people who were told before it was announced on social media. And I only expected I would be cos I believed that was 'normal' as my bro had told me that he told his 'best friend' before he was going to ask his the gf's dad for her hand in marriage. ..and his gf told her best friend first after he asked her.


    I was gutted at the time to find out via social media I was no longer even considered even one of their best friends as they'd tagged in the people who were told before they announcing it. (and I wasn't one of them!). I guess the feeling was made alot worse by the fact that my eldest dog who had been my support dog 15 years passed away a few weeks after seeing that post so in my mind I'd then lost 2 of what I considered 'my best friends ever' within a month. It triggered a major depression it was taken years for me to get through. 

    Literally the only thing that kept me going was the fact that I already had a younger dog too (almost 4yo when the elder dog died), so he'd lost his companion that he'd grown up with too (as I'd had him from 8 weeks old) and he still needed walking and feeding every day. I'd promised an home for life so felt I had at least had to keep going to be here for the rest of his life, regardless of whether I enjoyed life anymore or not.

    I left my social media page after I'd left the tribute (to my dog) that I'd wanted to put up and never went back. I see no point in making friends with others for them to do the same to me further down the line.