Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I am asking you adults with ASD or partners of ASD people because you are the most knowledgeable and experienced!!
I desperately need good book recommendations for how to thrive in a relationship with an ASD partner, specifically Aspergers. I am a neurotypical female and I’m struggling I’m my NT/AS marriage. My husband is loyal and lovely, kind and intelligent but we have a lot of problems. Please send me some book titles and authors that may have helped you!! Especially about partners with Aspergers. Thank you!
My partner has undiagnosed Aspergers, and I’m having a hard time being understanding loving and patient. I often feel criticized and like I’m walking on eggshells all the time, I never know when he will get upset with me for doing something that isn't within his routine and expectations. It makes me feel stuck and controlled. I want to be able to make compromises and have teamwork in our relationship - eg money choices, social life, weekly schedule. But instead I feel like I always do what he wants to avoid him getting moody and upset and withdrawing from me for hours at a time, usually until I agree to do things his way.
I greatly want to understand him and improve our relationship and communication. Cheers!
As an autistic doctor with a kind and generous wife, I regret we never did much together or shared responsibilities and discussed our future plans more. I hadn’t realised how I had become so odd in my actions and greatly regret it.
i do like written structure and was involved in setting up the national appraisal scheme for doctors in England but was so focussed on the medical model I didn’t look at things like how to have fun , enjoyment, and my wife’s interests in wild flowers and moths. We are now retired and have no common interests apart from our children.
so I would suggest an agreed structured annual meeting together, to record future aims, hopes, financials, family welfare etc, from each of your perspectives and then have an agreed realistic path.
At least you have kids!! :)