Hey, I’m new on here (I’m 22) and have been reading through a lot of the threads and have been really moved by how much I relate to so many people here. I’ve been recently diagnosed after a huge breakdown, I was diagnosed with bipolar and then shortly after, autism. In recovery now, I am becoming aware of how exhausted I’ve become within my life from managing autism without knowing I have it. Everything I struggle with has started to make sense and after now not having the energy to put on a front and appear normal I’m having to accept and learn who I really am.
Ive never felt so alone in all my life despite being surrounded by people. I feel like nobody can understand me, and all of my struggles are so isolating. Trying to connect to the people around me is so hard when I feel like I’m speaking a whole mother language. I spend my time feeling really dumb or just so lost. I’m still learning about myself and autism and the more I read and the more I learn the most things click and make sense to me. So many things that I’ve struggled with all my life have become clear why.
right now I’m wrestling with the reality of being me and all that means. No pretending. I try to communicate how my brain works to help my family understand but not completely understanding myself makes that so hard. I feel so alone and abnormal. Like I’m wired wrong and I can’t reach the people around me. I guess I’m here to try and find people who can make me feel less alone. Sorry this is long I didn’t mean for it to be. Just wanted to say hi really and reach out in the only way I can think how at the moment. I don’t want to feel so silenced and alone.
