Hi Everyone, I really find the question how are you ? or how are you getting on? so confusing to respond to. Even though I think I’m o.k with it I know I’m not as I feel so confused regardless of how I respond. For years with my work I used to say fine and make out I was o.k all the time. I now realise that this was masking and a way of coping in the world when actually i was in a state of high anxiety all the time and would have melt downs constantly.
If I do give what I believe is the true answer people walk away or stop me half way through my answer so I’m guessing I have said too much. I never really know.
Since my breakdown and subsequent diagnosis which has given me the understanding I have masked all my life, I now just say what I believe to be the truth but that doesn’t seem to be what people want to hear. So just leaves me confused and mentally going over what they may have wanted me to say,
So yesterday someone who I haven’t seen since the lockdown sent a message on messenger and asked how I was getting on. I could see they had read the message yet no response. When i re read my response it is long but it’s the truth. I don’t want to just write fine when I’m not. I really never understand the point of asking how are you when apparently the person doesn’t want to know.
I mentioned it to my husband who is NT this morning and he said it’s something people just do. He knows that I worry about things so always listens to me but surely if you ask how are you, you mean how are you and are open to hear the answer. Just saying fine seems pointless. I know I put a lot of detail in and explain things but that’s just how I am. My mind doesn’t feel satisfied otherwise. I know that may sound strange.
Anyway this morning I am still thinking about it and still confused. The person hasn’t responded and now I will probably be in a tangle in my mind about it all day.
Does anyone else feel confused by this too ? Because honestly it’s a complete mystery to me and just stresses me out and makes me feel despondent about people. This is why I prefer staying at home and not interacting with the world as it’s hard work.
