I am a social disaster, I struggle to make friends and life is becoming miserable. I shan’t waffle but any advice? Or anyone want to talk? I’ve got to turn this around.
I am a social disaster, I struggle to make friends and life is becoming miserable. I shan’t waffle but any advice? Or anyone want to talk? I’ve got to turn this around.
You are good at communicating online. That is a good start. :) I realize it is not the same as the outside world.m
I agree. I like your posts, Anthony. Maybe you can harness exactly what is good about your online presence and use it a bit socially. I am just like you, I suck at making friends and I simply know that i bore people to death. I'm the type that people cross the road to try and avoid me or the chair next to me is empty because no-one wants to sit there.
I can be more objective towards others. So, I can point out your strengths. I have noticed you are good at:
I think the reason we autie's get problems is due to the depth of our special interest. It's hard to talk about something we're not interested in, but if we talk about the special interest, we leave others behind.
Online, we have control of the silence between comments and it's not awkward.
When the lockdown is over, I had an idea to invite a shy person I know to the zoo or a museum. That way, we can talk about the exhibits - "oh look, a rhinocerous! " and don't need to keep coming up with subjects ourselves. I also thought of bowling. The more distraction and activity, the better. I need to have things with a definitive ending, otherwise I get too anxious figuring out how to end.
Because I suck at it, I have been thinking about this for about 6 months and not actually done it, mind you. :-( but in my defence I work full time.
The other idea is a volunteer cafe or food bank, where you are spending a limited number of hours per week and you can chat a bit or be more quiet while you work.
I looked into a gardening charity called thrive, where volunteers get together with more disabled people (eg blind, stroke sufferers) and help them do gardening. You don't need to know a lot about it, just help the more disabled person. Unfortunately where i live I am way too far from the nearest one and I don't drive so I can't join up.
I agree. I like your posts, Anthony. Maybe you can harness exactly what is good about your online presence and use it a bit socially. I am just like you, I suck at making friends and I simply know that i bore people to death. I'm the type that people cross the road to try and avoid me or the chair next to me is empty because no-one wants to sit there.
I can be more objective towards others. So, I can point out your strengths. I have noticed you are good at:
I think the reason we autie's get problems is due to the depth of our special interest. It's hard to talk about something we're not interested in, but if we talk about the special interest, we leave others behind.
Online, we have control of the silence between comments and it's not awkward.
When the lockdown is over, I had an idea to invite a shy person I know to the zoo or a museum. That way, we can talk about the exhibits - "oh look, a rhinocerous! " and don't need to keep coming up with subjects ourselves. I also thought of bowling. The more distraction and activity, the better. I need to have things with a definitive ending, otherwise I get too anxious figuring out how to end.
Because I suck at it, I have been thinking about this for about 6 months and not actually done it, mind you. :-( but in my defence I work full time.
The other idea is a volunteer cafe or food bank, where you are spending a limited number of hours per week and you can chat a bit or be more quiet while you work.
I looked into a gardening charity called thrive, where volunteers get together with more disabled people (eg blind, stroke sufferers) and help them do gardening. You don't need to know a lot about it, just help the more disabled person. Unfortunately where i live I am way too far from the nearest one and I don't drive so I can't join up.
I live in the middle of nowhere so there’s little in the way of groups on my doorstep unfortunately. There is a lot of hood information in your post and thank you for taking the time to be so comprehensive in your reply, it is appreciated. I do however think you are the first person to call me empathetic... usually in berated for being tactless haha! I think your idea about the zoo in particular is a good one, as normal social conventions like going for a coffee (other beverages are available) are just so difficult. I think a lot of my issues revolve around confidence and a tendency to be incredibly self deprecative... And that’s before the anxiety has kicked in. I hope at some point I get to the point where I have a few more contacts, even if it is just to text to starve off loneliness then maybe that will rebuild sufficient confidence to push myself a little more.
