How did you find out?

G'day Folks, 

This is kind of new for me, so apologies if I seem a bit lost. When I was in my early thirties, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. Did some counselling but avoided the medication. Learnt how to manage it and spent years learning how to self reflect which in turn helped me to understand myself a little better, be aware of who I was and try and push myself to a better place of understanding. A year and a half ago, a situation at work pushed me to medication for the first time, I was sent to an occupational nurse who asked me if I'd ever been diagnosed with dyspraxia, didn't even know what it was. I started getting better and then in January I had a motorcycle accident, mild tap, uninjured. But two months after that, had another motorcycle accident, went over the bonnet of the car, broke my wrist and ended up with PTSD which I'm being treated for at the moment. 

Early on in my treatment, I came across an article on adhd and noted a number of personality traits that I had in common. I had always thought there was something weird about me and thought that the depression and anxiety were the cause. But this seemed far closer to me. I took this to my counsellor who said she had wondered if I was on the Autism spectrum. As she was still getting to know me at the time, she wanted to get to know me better before bringing up the subject. Now we are coming close to the end of treatment, she has asked me if I wanted to pursue a diagnosis. I asked her opinion and she believes that I do have autism with attention deficit disorder traits. I'm almost 40 years old now so for it not to be picked up for so long, I must be quite low on the spectrum. But I'm struggling to understand what is a trait and what is 'normal' I know that I will be asked questions. I certainly don't want to be untruthful or inflate my symptoms in order to get diagnosed. But how do I know what things to talk about when I get assessed? Has anyone else gone through diagnosis in later life? How were you assessed? I feel like this explains so many struggles I've had, why I've always felt separated from everyone else and I guess I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing or not giving the best examples and being told I'm normal. Then I'd effectively be back in the dark, trying to figure myself out. A diagnosis could give me confidence at home and work to say this is where I struggle and here is the reason why. Sorry this is long and a bit pointless. I haven't told my family about it yet. Hoping I don't have to until I have a diagnosis either way. Just wondering if others have had this same anxiety about going through diagnosis?

Parents
  • I am awaiting an assessment so it has yet to be confirmed.

    I knew I was different. Always had been different, but I put it down to having had a different upbringing so I thought nothing much of it. My Mum is quite difderent. My Dad seemed more normal in that he seemed to be able to get on with most people without any effort (Which I always marvelled at his ability to do this as he could knock on the door of a complete strangers house and they would get along as if they had always known each other! How could he do that? I don't have a clue!), but in other ways I know he may have had certain traits which would be called meltdowns? Though if anyone is more likely to be on the spectrum it is myself and my Mum and possibly my two brothers?

    But anyway.. How did I find out? 

    Well. This really puzzled me. I had some rather odd moments of people asking me or telling me that they thought I was on the spectrum. The rather odd thing was that I honestly thought they were joking or playing some sort of prank! If a partial stranger said it (Someone who may not know me personaly but knows friends of friends and we may meet on the odd rare church style gathering I had to go to as Mum does not drive and our presence is required), and when a stranger said they thought I had autism, I started looking to see if someone I know had set them up to pranking me. I never knew that they were being serious! 

    I actually had several things happen almost at the same time from different angles. One was that I happened to be dating a beautiful lady who is on the spectrum with Aspergers syndrome, and she has a son who was diagnosed with Autism (She was assessed after he was) and as I knew nothing about it, I obviously needed to know how it effected her. She started to tell me some things where I thought "Well that seems normal to me". Nearly everything she said were experiences that I had in life so I became really puzzled as to what Aspergers was. Only two things were different. One was that she said her brain has its own language and she translates English into her own language in her kind (Mine tends to work in picture form and I have a very visual mind)... And the other aas she said that she rocked back and fore when anxious. I don't say I have not done this, but it is rare. With me I have many other stims which are far less noticeable. Far more hidden, and with good reason too! I kept trying to ask her for more about what it means. At first she thought I was almost mocking her when I said things like "Everyone gets that" or "That seems normal to me", as I was genuinely puzzled! We reached a point when I thought "Maybe I am not normal. Maybe I have it as well?" But I was more deeply puzzled. 

    When all she said and described about how the condition effects her seemed like normal everyday life to me, and I half jokingly said "I could be on the spectrum too" in a humourous sort of way... Well. She had me try a basic autism test online and the results? Well. First, I asked what some of the technical words were and one or two she knew but others she didn't know. For example, I asked what stimming was and she said rocking back and fore so I put "No", and for other terms I didn't understand I put "No" to as well. And I ended up with a boarderline result and it said "See a doctor or health professional which actually took e two years and a few attempts to ask as I kept clamming up and having to speak about other concerns).

    But then towards the end of dating that beautiful hearted lady, I had a rather odd experience with a friend of mine. I would usually see him once or twice a month. I had text him now and then but had not heard from him for a while so I had assumed he changed his mobile phone. 

    But then, about six months after I last heard from him he text me asking me to come down and pay him a visit. Ok. I will..

    I went down and he brought me into the little room in his garage (Which was normal as I think he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house?) So I was used to the little room we used to have a chat in that had a little heater etc. His "Man cave". But strangely he had another woman in there who was not his wife. He said "Meet my new girlfriend". He has a sense of humour but I could not tell if he was serious or not, as the lady didn't let on that she wasn't his new girlfriend. 

    He started to tell me about the events... How he had driven onto the Severn Bridge and committed suicide as he had reached the middle, stopped his car and jumped. He told me how people had phoned the emergency services and divers had dived 100 metres down (Or feet?) and retrieved his body. He then said how six months later he awoke from out of a coma in a hospital and they assessed him within no time at all and he was found to have high functioning autism which he said means he was an "Aspie". He said how his wife and he were having a divorce as she could not cope... Then he went on to describe how he had spent all their money etc... But anyway. After he explained that his "New girlfriend" was a carer he then said "And you are going to be spending time with her as well as you are an Aspie too!" 

    Well. I just did not know what to say. I was in shock. I thought he wasn't thinking straight so I couldn't take it in. Me? An Aspie? Surely not!

    All the times people kept saying that to me that I was on the spectrum... I was getting a little annoyed by then. I decided to forget trying to see my doctor to ask!

    But anyway. Time went on and then at a Christian gathering I had to attend, this gentleman approached me and my youngsst brother and pulled us to the side. He started talking saying he was a health professional... But then I was called by my Mum to help an elderly gentleman so I had to go. I helped the elderly guy and after the event when we were all back home I asked my brother why he had called us. He said half jokingly "He thought you were autistic. He started to tell me a list of what he had noticed".

    I asked "What was on the list?" 

    He said "I don't know. Something about not making eye contact and many other things...".

    "Grrr!" I thought! Another one who thinks I have autism. What is going on?" (It still had not dawned on me that I might have it. I just assumed everyone was playing pranks though this guy was a serious man who I think was a high up surgeon?).

    I thought nothing more until one day I decided to look up "Protopragnosia" on Youtube as both I and my mother have the condition. This autism suggestion kept coming up. "Not even going there!" I thought to myself, but after having three continual days of watching every single video I could find about prosopragnosia, only this one video called "Ask An Autistic" remained. "Ok. You've got me. I will look at it" I reluctantly thought...

    Well. I did click on it. At first the music at the start would come on a little loud as we have slower internet so it takes a few seconds of embarissment before I can quieten it down. (I was embarissed as in the past my Mum did not think I was on the spectrum, so I did not want her to hear it!)

    I watched it and was amazed. The young lady said that some 60% of people who had prosopragnosia were on the autism spectrum. This was an eye opener to me. I then became hooked and watched every "Ask An Autistic" I could find, though trying to watch them secretly. I was a secret "Ask An Autistic" fan. Hahahaha!

    Well. Somehow I could see a link between meltdowns and a lifelong unidentified condition that I had and had been causing me issues...

    So I was then absolutely determined to ask my doctor if I had Aspergers Syndrome. Soo determined, I explained to my mother (Who didn't believe me but she agreed), as I wanted her to come in with me to see the doctor, so if I clammed up with mindblank, she could speak and ask. Forget embarissment of me being 47 and having my Mum come with me! I was that determined to find answers and I expected a "Yes" or "No" answer there and then...!

Reply
  • I am awaiting an assessment so it has yet to be confirmed.

    I knew I was different. Always had been different, but I put it down to having had a different upbringing so I thought nothing much of it. My Mum is quite difderent. My Dad seemed more normal in that he seemed to be able to get on with most people without any effort (Which I always marvelled at his ability to do this as he could knock on the door of a complete strangers house and they would get along as if they had always known each other! How could he do that? I don't have a clue!), but in other ways I know he may have had certain traits which would be called meltdowns? Though if anyone is more likely to be on the spectrum it is myself and my Mum and possibly my two brothers?

    But anyway.. How did I find out? 

    Well. This really puzzled me. I had some rather odd moments of people asking me or telling me that they thought I was on the spectrum. The rather odd thing was that I honestly thought they were joking or playing some sort of prank! If a partial stranger said it (Someone who may not know me personaly but knows friends of friends and we may meet on the odd rare church style gathering I had to go to as Mum does not drive and our presence is required), and when a stranger said they thought I had autism, I started looking to see if someone I know had set them up to pranking me. I never knew that they were being serious! 

    I actually had several things happen almost at the same time from different angles. One was that I happened to be dating a beautiful lady who is on the spectrum with Aspergers syndrome, and she has a son who was diagnosed with Autism (She was assessed after he was) and as I knew nothing about it, I obviously needed to know how it effected her. She started to tell me some things where I thought "Well that seems normal to me". Nearly everything she said were experiences that I had in life so I became really puzzled as to what Aspergers was. Only two things were different. One was that she said her brain has its own language and she translates English into her own language in her kind (Mine tends to work in picture form and I have a very visual mind)... And the other aas she said that she rocked back and fore when anxious. I don't say I have not done this, but it is rare. With me I have many other stims which are far less noticeable. Far more hidden, and with good reason too! I kept trying to ask her for more about what it means. At first she thought I was almost mocking her when I said things like "Everyone gets that" or "That seems normal to me", as I was genuinely puzzled! We reached a point when I thought "Maybe I am not normal. Maybe I have it as well?" But I was more deeply puzzled. 

    When all she said and described about how the condition effects her seemed like normal everyday life to me, and I half jokingly said "I could be on the spectrum too" in a humourous sort of way... Well. She had me try a basic autism test online and the results? Well. First, I asked what some of the technical words were and one or two she knew but others she didn't know. For example, I asked what stimming was and she said rocking back and fore so I put "No", and for other terms I didn't understand I put "No" to as well. And I ended up with a boarderline result and it said "See a doctor or health professional which actually took e two years and a few attempts to ask as I kept clamming up and having to speak about other concerns).

    But then towards the end of dating that beautiful hearted lady, I had a rather odd experience with a friend of mine. I would usually see him once or twice a month. I had text him now and then but had not heard from him for a while so I had assumed he changed his mobile phone. 

    But then, about six months after I last heard from him he text me asking me to come down and pay him a visit. Ok. I will..

    I went down and he brought me into the little room in his garage (Which was normal as I think he wasn't allowed to smoke in the house?) So I was used to the little room we used to have a chat in that had a little heater etc. His "Man cave". But strangely he had another woman in there who was not his wife. He said "Meet my new girlfriend". He has a sense of humour but I could not tell if he was serious or not, as the lady didn't let on that she wasn't his new girlfriend. 

    He started to tell me about the events... How he had driven onto the Severn Bridge and committed suicide as he had reached the middle, stopped his car and jumped. He told me how people had phoned the emergency services and divers had dived 100 metres down (Or feet?) and retrieved his body. He then said how six months later he awoke from out of a coma in a hospital and they assessed him within no time at all and he was found to have high functioning autism which he said means he was an "Aspie". He said how his wife and he were having a divorce as she could not cope... Then he went on to describe how he had spent all their money etc... But anyway. After he explained that his "New girlfriend" was a carer he then said "And you are going to be spending time with her as well as you are an Aspie too!" 

    Well. I just did not know what to say. I was in shock. I thought he wasn't thinking straight so I couldn't take it in. Me? An Aspie? Surely not!

    All the times people kept saying that to me that I was on the spectrum... I was getting a little annoyed by then. I decided to forget trying to see my doctor to ask!

    But anyway. Time went on and then at a Christian gathering I had to attend, this gentleman approached me and my youngsst brother and pulled us to the side. He started talking saying he was a health professional... But then I was called by my Mum to help an elderly gentleman so I had to go. I helped the elderly guy and after the event when we were all back home I asked my brother why he had called us. He said half jokingly "He thought you were autistic. He started to tell me a list of what he had noticed".

    I asked "What was on the list?" 

    He said "I don't know. Something about not making eye contact and many other things...".

    "Grrr!" I thought! Another one who thinks I have autism. What is going on?" (It still had not dawned on me that I might have it. I just assumed everyone was playing pranks though this guy was a serious man who I think was a high up surgeon?).

    I thought nothing more until one day I decided to look up "Protopragnosia" on Youtube as both I and my mother have the condition. This autism suggestion kept coming up. "Not even going there!" I thought to myself, but after having three continual days of watching every single video I could find about prosopragnosia, only this one video called "Ask An Autistic" remained. "Ok. You've got me. I will look at it" I reluctantly thought...

    Well. I did click on it. At first the music at the start would come on a little loud as we have slower internet so it takes a few seconds of embarissment before I can quieten it down. (I was embarissed as in the past my Mum did not think I was on the spectrum, so I did not want her to hear it!)

    I watched it and was amazed. The young lady said that some 60% of people who had prosopragnosia were on the autism spectrum. This was an eye opener to me. I then became hooked and watched every "Ask An Autistic" I could find, though trying to watch them secretly. I was a secret "Ask An Autistic" fan. Hahahaha!

    Well. Somehow I could see a link between meltdowns and a lifelong unidentified condition that I had and had been causing me issues...

    So I was then absolutely determined to ask my doctor if I had Aspergers Syndrome. Soo determined, I explained to my mother (Who didn't believe me but she agreed), as I wanted her to come in with me to see the doctor, so if I clammed up with mindblank, she could speak and ask. Forget embarissment of me being 47 and having my Mum come with me! I was that determined to find answers and I expected a "Yes" or "No" answer there and then...!

Children
No Data