Published on 12, July, 2020
It’s four days since I got diagnosed, in this time things have been hard. What with the virus and the autism diagnosis, my head has been spinning. To be honest I’m struggling, mainly due family not being supportive. My work colleagues and supervisor have been awesome an my friends are happy for me.
It’s my family that have hurt me, by being dismissive.
Hey, I'm glad you've got some positive people in your life currently. For the time being, please surround yourself around people who accept you and the diagnosis. Keep in contact via facetime or other social media's whilst in isolation. You can as well use the internet to learn more about your diagnosis. Just focus on you even though people aren't co-operating. I know it's hard, you can get through this!!
Do you know specifically what it is they are not being supportive over? Is it just them in some state of denial or is it something else?
Would it help getting a couple of websites up on your computer/tablet that can explain (in not too many words) what autism is/does & literally handing over the tablet to your family, telling them how important this is for you, and then leaving them to it for a couple of hours to allow them to digest the information. I used this technique, (in written form) for various issues, I’d leave them by the kettle for my family & then would go out & stay out all evening. This helped me as I wasn’t bombarded by questions (which can in time be discussed) or interrupted when trying to verbalise how I was feeling or what the issue was. Staying out all night might be a tad over the top though!
The problem with families accepting a diagnosis is that they've known you your whole life and accept you as normal - so when they are told something different, they immediately imagine extreme autie - flapping and rocking in the corner - RainMan on a bad day - and if you don't fit that model, then they don't believe you.
I wouldn't push it with them - all you'll do is make them more resistant to the idea.
I'm glad you're work is supportive - that's where you will spend more of your life than with individual family members.
A big thing to remember is don't rush at it - let things happen slowly and naturally - take your time telling people.
I'm enjoying this social isolation :)
I've been working from home for two weeks and as a result my stress levels are now so low, I have been able to stop taking my Citalopram.
The only thing I miss, is our Saturday night restaurant dinner, as it's nice to have a change in scenery once in a while....
I was in a slightly different boat myself, i had support from my wife and kids, and my parents kind of always knew there was something not right.
But that being said i have been questioned by a few family members and they did not have issue with diagnosis but from what they said they just did not want to admit that they had an autistic sibling but they also said that they knew there was something that was not right (if that the best way of putting it)
I myself am a very all or nothing person and i would write people off very fast and would not think a lot about it a whole lot apart from being told from family members.
I would say give it a little time to settle down if you have only just told them, As it could have come as a shock at first (even though you should have been being supported through this time).But everyone situation is different
You could try educating them on the subject and maybe search up a good vid that covers alot of what you would like to get across to them.
Or falling that you could get the person or team that diagnosis you to phone them up and explain to them, I mean part of my diagnosis they had an interview with my partner, so that could be a possibility if you needed them to explain your situation.
best of luck to you Ed s
We are in a similar boat. I too was diagnosed this week. My husband and kids are like whatever - we've known this was likely for a while - my wider family are also dismissive. My in-laws don't get it at all. Perhaps they don't need to. I was diagnosed so I could confirm what I already knew - there was something different about me and it's not my fault. I got my daughter diagnosed because I didn't want her to go through life wondering why she was different - I wanted her to know and celebrate it.
We are inside our body - we over time understand our differences - family members can only guess. Some of them are in denial about potential diagnoses for themselves and feel threatened by ours and what it could mean for them. Give them time to adjust. Suggest 1 or 2 things they could do to support you an take it from there.