Published on 12, July, 2020
I truly mean no offense by this...and its not a blanket statement....but ,for some reason, i see the mannerisms and speech of NT's as fundamentally fake....in a general sense...And i think its actually the ego im bothered by....And of course, i have ego also....but i think its displayed in a whole different way with Autism spectrum...
Ive only just got my finger on this...and not fully expounding, (not feeling physically great today) but i hope you all catch what im trying to say.
I have observed my friends collectively act differently to when I see them individually. I love them to bits but it can sometimes become a competition between them in varying degrees. And I notice people say contradictory things when we are in a group as to when it's just me and one other, or there are little white lies / bigging themselves up. I also notice that some people make things out to be bigger than what they are (mountains out if molehills) in order to get some social status (eg a b&b I stayed in which the owners had done up. "Oh it was horrendous when we bought the place" so I checked on Rightmove and it really wasn't...).
I often don't feel others are fake but I can feel suspicious of others as I think it takes me longer to work some people out.
I was too competitive with Classmates, at school, and was cutting to them. My behaviour was learned from TV and my Family. Of course, I wanted to be an entertainer as a child. But God had other plans.