Unable to come to terms with bad events and move on - Is this all autism

Dave, as far as I can see, your way forward is very clear.

All you need to do is stop moping around and write off your losses - you're not going to turn history back.

Then decide who you want in that life with you - your kids, your wife, your friends etc

Then.assess all of your resources and then calculate what kind of life that will give you - your cash, your investments, your home, your friends etc.

I know you have health problems in addition to your losses - but I never hear you lay out any plan to go forwards - you never look at the positives in your life.

By comparison, I'm screwed - I'm seriously ill - just going through a bit of a cancer scare right now - but with everything shut down, I won't get to see the specialists - and with no immune system, I can't go out or near any hospitals.

I lost my job a few years over my poor health and my Asperger's and I'll never be able to work again.

I consider myself lucky to still be alive and, while my heart is beating, I'll keep trying to push forwards.

You keep banging on about humiliation - but that exists only in your own head.

I absolutely do not believe that you don't know a way forward.

You seem to love the drama and attention of your position - which shows narcissistic tendencies  (I have a couple of narcs my extended family - it gets tedious)

So what's stopping you turning things around?     Apart from your apparent love of wallowing in it?

What have you ACTUALLY done to move forwards except try to turn back time and make excuses for your behaviour and blame everyone else for your situation??

Again - I apologise for my bluntness.

Hi

start by clearing up what can be cleared up or lightening the burden.

eg.  you mention you failed your children by not helping their careers (forgive me if the quote is not accurate but that was the gist). My folks were in no position at all to help me in my education or career. I don't expect them to launch me into a career or help, to be honest. They could maybe have done more but they kept me alive and gave me a roof and clothes and a family. I got a job regardless.  

So, can you ask your family to forgive you for failing them? forgive you for spending too much time at work?

Can you ask your wife the same? Can you ask her to forgive you for financial losses, if what you have left is enough?  

Lastly, give  a bit of help to others (which I have seen you doing on this forum the last few days), keep going, that is definitely a tonic.

This will not deal with the big problem but might get a few ounces off your shoulders.

I used to be fixated daily with su**idal thoughts but I gradually realised during CBT and other therapies that while my heart is pumping, it is keeping me alive.  When you are about to it commit sui***de it really pumps extra hard, right?!  it wants to stay alive, and keep me alive. That is the margin between life and death, not money or shame or status. And I shouldn't try to stop it.  

Hi

start by clearing up what can be cleared up or lightening the burden.

eg.  you mention you failed your children by not helping their careers (forgive me if the quote is not accurate but that was the gist). My folks were in no position at all to help me in my education or career. I don't expect them to launch me into a career or help, to be honest. They could maybe have done more but they kept me alive and gave me a roof and clothes and a family. I got a job regardless.  

So, can you ask your family to forgive you for failing them? forgive you for spending too much time at work?

Can you ask your wife the same? Can you ask her to forgive you for financial losses, if what you have left is enough?  

Lastly, give  a bit of help to others (which I have seen you doing on this forum the last few days), keep going, that is definitely a tonic.

This will not deal with the big problem but might get a few ounces off your shoulders.

I used to be fixated daily with su**idal thoughts but I gradually realised during CBT and other therapies that while my heart is pumping, it is keeping me alive.  When you are about to it commit sui***de it really pumps extra hard, right?!  it wants to stay alive, and keep me alive. That is the margin between life and death, not money or shame or status. And I shouldn't try to stop it.  

Thanks plectrum. And I analyse you and conclude you are a useful and pleasant musical wonder. You have been there and I suspect  very few know how terrible that place is and there is no choice in the decision eventually. 

2 of my children are also doctors but that is not a great job at present ( one has had  patient die from the virus), but what the media doesn't say is that virtually all are over 80 yrs old and have other major illness.