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Late autism diagnosis/ depression

Jd

Hi. 
just wondered about others views on autism and depression. 
struggling to find someone who understands my views and thoughts on life.

Recently had a rough spell where my wife’s been quite ill and at one point was touch and go as to whether she would make it,  She’s slowly recovering now but is looking like she’s gonna struggle to walk properly again amongst other things.  
I’ve had many a dark day especially recently and she’s telling me it’s all pointing towards depression and think she doesn’t believe I am autistic. 
I am basing my autism diagnosis on my whole life not just recent events and the assessment team views me as a strong enough case to asses me and my gp said I would be very surprised if I’m not on spectrum. 
depression could be a factor as juggling a 7yr old showing similar traits to myself as well as work, HomeLife and my wife’s illness on top of autism it’s been a very hard period.

But it’s not being helped by the fact people constantly doubt me and putting pressure on me for their own needs. Have agreed to speak to my gp about depression and autism but it’s very difficult to talk about it when you think nobody believes you and your looking for a get out clause/excuse. 

I know I am on the spectrum somewhere and it doesn’t bother me really. A lot of my life makes sense since discovering about autism and myself and it’s helping me understand me. Just wish others would understand me too...

Parents

  • Hi JD, I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time. I can relate, knowing that someone else understands what you are going through or even if they don't fully relate but simply believe in you can be incredibly validating and sometimes just having one person who fully accepts what you say to them can give you enough strength to stand against the challenges. I understand about not wanting to use it as an 'excuse' too, I have similar feelings, but your well-being matters and if you are having a difficult time it is important that you are supported. Is there anyone else that you may be able to open up to, such as another family member or close friend? Alternatively, I hope that this forum can bring you comfort. I've only been on here for around five days and already my experiences feel more validated than ever before, and everyone is so supportive. It may also help to see if there is a meet up group in your area for autistic adults that you may be able to visit once a week that can listen and provide encouragement, if that sounds like it may be for you. What has also helped me is keeping a word document of key life experiences, not for anyone else to read but as a place that I can return to and feel more solid about the truth of my own experience and the context of my life chronologically. It's been an incredibly useful exercise that I highly recommend. Wishing you all the best

Reply

  • Hi JD, I'm sorry to hear you've been having a tough time. I can relate, knowing that someone else understands what you are going through or even if they don't fully relate but simply believe in you can be incredibly validating and sometimes just having one person who fully accepts what you say to them can give you enough strength to stand against the challenges. I understand about not wanting to use it as an 'excuse' too, I have similar feelings, but your well-being matters and if you are having a difficult time it is important that you are supported. Is there anyone else that you may be able to open up to, such as another family member or close friend? Alternatively, I hope that this forum can bring you comfort. I've only been on here for around five days and already my experiences feel more validated than ever before, and everyone is so supportive. It may also help to see if there is a meet up group in your area for autistic adults that you may be able to visit once a week that can listen and provide encouragement, if that sounds like it may be for you. What has also helped me is keeping a word document of key life experiences, not for anyone else to read but as a place that I can return to and feel more solid about the truth of my own experience and the context of my life chronologically. It's been an incredibly useful exercise that I highly recommend. Wishing you all the best

Children
  • in reply to Rach

    Hi Rach. You make a very good point about support but everyone is understandably giving their support to my wife as she’s been bad. And as have I been doing. 
    But at what cost? I feel like I’m going crazy and nobody seems to give a ####. I’m so emotionally drained and tired some days I get annoyed just waking up. No sinister thoughts but do think damn I’m awake and gotta do it all again.