I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder just over a year ago now. I’m 25 and have been living with my boyfriend for about 4 years. He was incredibly supportive throughout my diagnosis and helped me to recognise some of the traits that I myself did not. The problem I sometimes have is that if he is upset about something outside of our relationship I can find it very hard to empathise and if he acts differently towards me because of it I tend to assume it must be my fault because I can’t understand his feelings outside of our interactions. This then means that I can get defensive when he’s upset and come across really self-centered. I want to help him and be there for him like I should be so when he points out how selfish I’m being I just feel worse and want to retract even further to not make things any worse than they already are. I’m sorry for bringing this here I just don’t know where else to say how horrible I feel for being so self absorbed and yet how completely incapable I feel of changing it. The more upset I get about what a terrible person I am the more self absorbed I become and the less supportive I am and so the cycle continues. I didn’t know where else to turn.
