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Tips for talking to your partner?

AJ

Posting on this forum is the first time I've ever shared my concerns with anybody else, after many many years of wondering. I feel that this has been a great step for me, but I really think my partner deserves to know what I am going through, or about to be going through if I push for a diagnosis.

I've been married for two and a half years, but we've been together for about eight years altogether. I realise that there might be things that they have noticed that I haven't, and annoying behaviours of mine that might make more sense with this context.

So, as per the title of the thread, does anybody have any tips for speaking to their partner when you think you may be autistic?

I guess the same goes for speaking with family, as I'm sure my parents may have some insight to share too.

PS: I've found the comments on my introduction thread really encouraging, so thank you all for that, it means a lot. :) 

Parents

  • Hi Aj, I told my partner one day after I'd suffered a downturn in my mental health and the point where I knew I needed to see a professional.  The cbt / coaching approach didn't work and I realised that there was a huge force, like my own life force, pushing back against the coaching. This was not normal resistance but something that felt positive and creative as well as negative and anxious. 

    I showed my partner a blank autism /pda questionnaire and said I fitted some of the questions but I didn't show my answers. I just offered them the questionnaire to read as if answering on my behalf.

    My partner agreed that I fitted the pda profile. I was surprised how immediate that was. Then I got assessed some time later and found it was aspergers syndrome all along. 

    My partner was pretty relieved to know it and have a guideline for decoding me, so to speak. 

    Before the verdict was given I just avoided sounding too certain, ie self diagnosed, in case my partner thought I was exaggerating it but turned out that is a common aspie paranoia during the assessment anyway. 

    Sorry I can't write more but I'm falling asleep... 

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  • Hi Aj, I told my partner one day after I'd suffered a downturn in my mental health and the point where I knew I needed to see a professional.  The cbt / coaching approach didn't work and I realised that there was a huge force, like my own life force, pushing back against the coaching. This was not normal resistance but something that felt positive and creative as well as negative and anxious. 

    I showed my partner a blank autism /pda questionnaire and said I fitted some of the questions but I didn't show my answers. I just offered them the questionnaire to read as if answering on my behalf.

    My partner agreed that I fitted the pda profile. I was surprised how immediate that was. Then I got assessed some time later and found it was aspergers syndrome all along. 

    My partner was pretty relieved to know it and have a guideline for decoding me, so to speak. 

    Before the verdict was given I just avoided sounding too certain, ie self diagnosed, in case my partner thought I was exaggerating it but turned out that is a common aspie paranoia during the assessment anyway. 

    Sorry I can't write more but I'm falling asleep... 

Children