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Assessment on saturday :s

NAS64098

A few weeks ago i posted about going private for a screening after finding out my nhs waiting list was 2 years, and struggling with imposter syndrome. 

Well the screening results suggested ASD is likely and i was recommended for a full assessment.

So i agreed to the assessment and was offered an appointment this saturday! Im absolutely terrified, this is happening much quicker than i expected, also ive transitioned from imposter syndrome to denial and berating myself for my own stupidity at starting down this path, feeling like ive opened a can of worms that cannot be closed again. 

This is made worse by the fact that after 20 years of not talking about my problems and relying only on myself, ive had to tell both my brother and my partner about everything as i needed informants. Before this week i hadnt said a thing to either of them about my long history of mental health problems. 

Whats adding to the feelings of denial and feeling like a fraud is that my partner (of 10 years) said he had no idea id been struggling with MH issues for so long and hadnt noticed anything?

So im now getting paranoid that either im too good at masking, or its all in my head / the anxiety talking and i dont have ASD :(

sorry for the ramble, im feeling very stressed and confused, im not sure what im asking, i just needed to let it all out! 

Parents

  • Pls help i am panicking all over again. My OH filled out the questionaire and it basically goes against everything im struggling with, stated i was completely normal and displayed no problems, and its made me even more confused that this is all in my head. I dont know whats real anymore, im really panicking and thinking of cancelling the assessment. I dont know what to do

  • in reply to NAS64098

    Just try and focus on what difficulties you have. I found telling ’the story of me’ helped, starting from childhood, going through school, early adulthood, issues with jobs, education, family relationships etc  What’s the story of you?

    What challenges did you have with friendships growing up?

    What are your friendships like now?

    What are you like with socialising?

    How much would you say you mask?

    Do you have any hyper flexibility?

    Do you have any sensitivities? Smells/touch/lighting/sounds?

    So you think you’ve had Aspie burnouts in the past?

    Do you think you have meltdowns?

    What’s your anxiety like?

    Have you been able to stick at a job/do you think your education or career has been affected by your issues?

    How do you process information?

    What are you like with following conversations?

    What are you like with money?

    What are you like with interpreting emotion in others?

    Can you work out someone’s motive or do you struggle to read between the lines?

    What’s your home like? Chaotic/organised?

    What makes you happy/angry?

    Do you get stuck in routines?

    Do you daydream a lot?

    Do you avoid doing tasks?

    Are you a control freak/perfectionist

    Do you prefer things to be black or white rather than in between?

    I’m just throwing out a few suggestions to try and help you focus on what the issues which led to you requesting assessment are.

    I don’t know what format of assessment you are having. After completing pre-assessment paperwork/questionnaires I was interviewed by an Asst Psch then the clinical psych. They talked about what I’d written down about myself and asked me questions where they needed to get more info. They just needed to know who I was and what the issues were so they could make a decision.

    Hope this helps x

  • in reply to ItsMyMind

    Thankyou this does help. I spoke to the dr yesterday and apparently what my OH wrote doesnt match all other evidence submitted, including info from my brother, so that eased my mind a bit. I think my OH thinks its all a load of rubbish and i cant possibly have it. I guess im my own worst enemy for being such a private person

    Im meeting with a clinical psychologist today for a 2 hr interview. Not sure whats involved, im expecting ill have to discuss all the things you mentioned

  • in reply to JohnS

    Probably. Have been discussing it with my counsellor, ill explain about why i wear headphones (which has been commented on before) and will probably ask for written instructions before discussing things verbally. Apparently there is a local service i will be referred to for further support too

  • in reply to NAS64098

    Are you going to seek changes to your working conditions?

  • in reply to ItsMyMind

    Yes, luckily im off work til thursday so i have some time to process it all. Glad to have had the answer so quickly. Definately feels like a weight off my shoulders

  • in reply to NAS64098

    That’s great news! Will take some time to digest as it happened so quickly in the end. I hope it is a massive relief for you now x

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