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Criticism

Hope

I can't take criticism, particularly from my peers and particularly with things I feel that I should be good at. I get angry and upset, although I try and hide this  due to my desire to act 'neurotypical'.  Several people with AS, who I know, are very judgemental and pedantic, criticising freely. I am also very pedantic, but I try hard to be tactful when in public and try  not to pass criticism. Ironically, despite my AS, I am very self-aware. I have been criticised by  a person with AS, and afterwards I obsessed over it and felt very angry and upset. Proof that people with AS can end up annoying each other!. What do you think? Can you take criticism?

  • in reply to Caelus

    Haha - I can relate to that!

    But sometimes it seems that people are enjoying their conversation working out the answer so I just leave them to it... if I can bear to listen!

  • well generally it can be annoying especially when you know your right, but you can in some occasions yield to their wrong rebuff of whatever it was and then sit back and watch them learn the hard way that you was right, and then watch them come back and whine why didnt you tell them and just shrug and say you did tell them but they told you that you was wrong lol

  • I crumble at criticism. Not sure if it’s an AS thing, or just my hyper-sensitive nature. Whatever, I know it’s illogical to be upset about constructive criticism, but I still experience that initial, visceral reaction to it. Being aware and yet being unable to switch it off is very frustrating.

  • I only joined this group a couple of weeks ago so I’m answering this 9 years late. I hate criticism. My blood pressure rises, I get angry and I want to go and hide in a cupboard. Mainly hide in a cupboard. I’m so perfectionist that if I don’t do something right and even worse if somebody notices, I can lose my sense of worth and go into a meltdown. 

  • I avoid anything that might lead to criticism or make me vulnerable. I avoid alot. I can get very defensive.

  • I certainly have a very difficult time with critisism.  I never knew why.   But usually I don't have a clue if a person even is upset with me!   So when they do come down on me, I am in a state of shock.  Not that I am shocked I messed up... I do that a ton!  But I will be shocked that the person was upset for a while and I was clueless about it.  It makes me feel so angry with myself for not knowing what I think I should have been able to figure out.   

  • Criticism is a negative bias function of an aspergers mind which is connected to a  "physical sensory pain function" of the brain(ACC), which is like an area shaped like a corridor which is directed connected too the fear amygdala. I see it like an internal post box evaluation system which is triggered early on by authority figures and corrective stimulas(Mis-parenting signals).  Remember aspergers is an union of moral and intellect, hence the perfect path thinking. We live in an imperfect world so the rational correct mind has tension(anxiety) based on the irregular, illogical, irrational,, normal(abnormal) maze mind of the collective dross of society.

  • I can't imagine that many people like being criticised - why would they? :)

    At least if it's constructive, you can use it to change things you might dislike, but when you feel like criticism is unreasonable - perhaps masking deeper emotions - you're put in the horrible position of either starting an argument or else biting your tongue and trying to shrug it off, which I usually do but then end up feeling 'weak' as a result, as though I'm not standing up for myself.

    I don't know how much value there is in seeing 'being criticised' as something that's particularly related to autism, other than, in context, you can see how hidden impairment causes difficulties which other people don't necessarily perceive or understand, and issues such as being forced to conform to 'normal' behaviour, however ill-justified this might be.

    We're kind of vulnerable on a social level, making us easy targets for anybody who feels like making themselves feel better by putting somebody else down, and we're also easy targets in that we tend to stick out from the crowd too.

    I'm probably my own worst critic to be honest anyway, and feel like I kind of 'have all angles' covered in terms of feeling like a useless fool... when anybody else points it out can generally just laugh about it: I think that the entire human race is basically pretty idiotic isn't it? 

    That said, I know how obsessed I can get by the sense of injustice from feeling criticised unreasonably - it's like my mind demands that it all be sorted-out, settled and forgotten about, but that's never going to happen: usually it was just some idiot blurting out some nonsense that I overheard on the bus or something like that, who no doubt forgot about the whole thing by about 10 seconds later.