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Feeling Broken

Kitsune

My husband is splitting up with me because he can’t cope with my Aspergers! To be honest it’s a relief as I’d have left him years ago if he hadn’t trapped me. But i think I’d held out hope that he would change and stop being a complete control freak. But that switch has flicked now and I’ve realised that he will never change and the reality and enormity of years of emotional, financial and physical abuse towards myself and my eldest daughter is finally hitting me. It’s not a good feeling to finally realise how little I mean to someone and the extent to which they have used me to make their own life more comfortable.

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  • in reply to Deepthought

    You have just absolutely hit the nail on the head there DT. 

  • in reply to Kitsune
    Kitsune said:
    I don’t understand the control freak mentality but I do know that it’s him and not me. 

    Control freak mentality in adults is a compensation for having experienced increasing emotional insecurity during their preadolescent and adolescent development, and in the case of narcissistic abusers ~ this usually develops by way of controlling and success-orientated highly-critical parents, and or highly critical guardians such as teachers and so fourth.

    .

    The basic premise is that as long as the narcissist can make someone else feel emotionally insecure ~ it distracts them from feeling emotionally insecure themselves; or if they are emotionally disassociated and feel little or nothing of this within themselves ~ it allows them to pleasurably identify with someone else feeling emotionally unsettled or terrified on their behalf. Hence the control freak mentality.