I need a career

I managed to get through school, and university. My social skills are okay, and when I've been in workplaces for work experience etc, I have done pretty well. But can I get through the interviews process? i think there is an inbuilt discrimination against people like me at the interview stage since I make bad eye contact, and find them hellish. I'm now in my forties, and none of the jobs I have ever done have ever had reasonable pay or required an interview. My CV is woeful even though my intelligence level is clearly above average. (Not genius level, granted!) I do have some issues, but can function at a high level, yet no one wants me. 

What do I do? Even when I've done careers courses, I struggle, and get panic attacks. Yet, I know I can do certain types of work because I have already. Working is not too bad for me. Looking for work has made me feel suicidal. I am lucky I have some level of other support, but this is not enough to pay a lot of my bills and my gas has been cut off.

The really annoying thing is that I got offered a dream job at a bookshop, and turned it down because I was going out of the country for a few months. I have been kicking myself ever since. 

Half the time some stranger speaks to me, they ask me what I do for a living. I'm not into the whole peeing contest aspect of that, but I would like to be able answer something other than telling them undiagnosed ASD has stopped me from ever getting a proper job.