• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 83 subscribers
  • Views 2100 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

i"m wondering if my partner is Autistic, how do i approach this please

NAS65188

Hello there, thank you for being out there to talk to. I have been with my partner for nearly 3 years and feel he is an active autistic adult. i have taken the test myself and since doing so thought it would be a good way to broach the topic with him. How do i pursue this, without pressure. This is personal and i dont want to list the reasons i feel this way, wouldnt want to embarrass him. i would like to go forward in our relationship and i really believe that looking towards this would help us, both, greatly. Is there anyone out there who has helped, or been helped, by the partner to get the test/help to go forward? thank you for your time. i look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time. 

Parents

  • I wonder the same thing about my husband of 2 years.  I believe STRONGLY that he does and we even went to a counselor because I wanted to get him texted.  We didn’t go through the test because the counselor asked me in front of my husband why I felt the way I did about him.  I wasn’t able to say in front of him all the things I feel like were “wrong” with him.  So we left.  I dropped the subject of getting tested.  I believe with all heart he does has AS.  He is extremely dependable, trustworthy and honest.  He’s a good man except there is 0% intimacy or sex between us.   I am 45 and I’m wondering if I can live the rest of my life like this.   I got married (this is my second marriage) so I wouldn’t be alone... and I am so unbelievably alone.  I told him yesterday I was considering leaving him, he didn’t respond .. just simply asked “how my day was at wk and what we were doing for dinner”.   Not sure what to do now.          
    My point is.... do you really need a test to conform what you fee ? 

  • in reply to 121212

    oh my gosh, i am so sorry that has happened to you. i hear and see the lack of intimacy right there. no connection is there. that will be hard to deal with. its like - Hey, im standing here trying to have a meaningful conversation but might as well be about dirt for all the connection you are having. i struggle with the lack of intimacy and sexual connection in my relationship. i know its not him per say but i feel if i was a computer id get more attention. 

    Without sounding harsh, id like there to be confirmation so that we could both get the help/support we need. I trust he would flourish if he understood the way he is is who he is, but i think the idea scares him. i would like to have support and learn how to be with him, id also like him to learn how to be with someone, if this makes sense. ive watched the good dr, and i know he is an extreme but if he can try to learn/adapt, then id like to think my partner would be open to it too. 

    What are you going to do? You deserve to be happy and if thats the depth you are getting from your husband......well......

    let me know how you are doing

Reply
  • in reply to 121212

    oh my gosh, i am so sorry that has happened to you. i hear and see the lack of intimacy right there. no connection is there. that will be hard to deal with. its like - Hey, im standing here trying to have a meaningful conversation but might as well be about dirt for all the connection you are having. i struggle with the lack of intimacy and sexual connection in my relationship. i know its not him per say but i feel if i was a computer id get more attention. 

    Without sounding harsh, id like there to be confirmation so that we could both get the help/support we need. I trust he would flourish if he understood the way he is is who he is, but i think the idea scares him. i would like to have support and learn how to be with him, id also like him to learn how to be with someone, if this makes sense. ive watched the good dr, and i know he is an extreme but if he can try to learn/adapt, then id like to think my partner would be open to it too. 

    What are you going to do? You deserve to be happy and if thats the depth you are getting from your husband......well......

    let me know how you are doing

Children
No Data