You can quite easily, if someone asks you if you're a virgin, say, "Why do you want to know that?" And if they say, "Just curious," you can just say, "Well, try being "just curious" about something worthwhile." 

I'd like to tell you a little story about Americans. Five months ago, the man down the road from me died. He had lived most of his life as a Finn. It was only later that he learnt that he was adopted by a Finnish man and an English woman and that his biological father was a Greek-American serviceman who called into Brisbane, Queensland, Australia, during the latter part of the war, and his birth mother was a bordello worker in that city. So, that man, who would have been around the same age as your grandfather, went back to the USA, leaving behind a woman whom he PAID for sex (he may have gone back home to his wife) and fathered a son he knew nothing about. Again, who do you think your grandfather would rather have been, a man who didn't lose his virginity until he was 50, OR, a man who didn't get married until he was 50, but may have had to cope with the embarrassment of telling his wife that he had unknowingly fathered a son to a bordello worker when he was in his twenties?

Well, firstly, you can only catch HIV if there is an exchange of bodily fluids, and then, it's only blood or semen. Secondly, if your grandfather died before you were born, information you receive about him will have been from your grandmother or whichever parent of yours he parented. As he was born during World War One, some of his twenties may have been interrupted by the Second World War, so he might have been in his late 20s before he was demobbed, and he may have decided to be part of BCOF or he may have even gone to Korea. Also, you don't know what sort of a man your grandfather was before he married your grandmother. He might have been a man who wasn't interested in losing his virginity, for all you know. 

It's in the Love and Dating section with the title "Feeling depressed due to being single at 30". It's a lengthy thread, started in September and still running, with many supportive responses.

I have had OCD about AIDS since I was a child. Despite being born in 1989, I remember seeing the older footage about AIDS in news and documentaries from the early and mid 1980s. I had a certain fear of sex due to STIs like AIDS, but I still wanted to have it, naturally.

It depends on if one is miserable solely due to the relationship or not. Being in a relationship might help for those who have mental issues and their partner can offer support. But obviously if the relationship itself is the problem, that is another case.

My grandfather did not find a wife until almost age 50. This was in the 1950s, so if he were alive he would be over 100 years old now. I surely hope that I do not end up like him, waiting until almost I am 50. I try to increase my self-esteem and stuff, but I would be lying if I did not say that every day is a struggle. The feeling of missing out on enjoying life with relationships and stuff in my 20s is hard to fathom when I ruminate about it. Perhaps I have a Pure O obsession with this single/virgin issue. The loneliness and sentiment of missing out, however, is soul-crushing.

Well, as for being a 30 year old virgin, you have to ask yourself this, "Is it better to be a 30 year old virgin, or is it better to be a 30-year old who is either, a) working in crummy jobs for a minimum wage to support kids to three different women, OR, b) a 30 year old who has experienced umpteen STIs (possibly HIV or HBV)?" I know which I'd rather. Okay, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 25 and the hardest part for me was that I lost my virginity to someone I don't see, when I planned it to be really special. And here's something else, it's better to be alone and miserable than in a relationship and miserable, as in waking up of a morning and thinking, "Oh, heck," and divorce is expensive. Above all else, too, when it comes to sex, you need a partner who is sexually compatible with you, and that's not to say that you're both heterosexual, but, do you like being touched in the same way and in the same places? Do you like the same things? I mean, you can get a partner who's all for sex, but if she doesn't like being touched like you do, it won't work out. Some people are lucky, and find the right partner at 19, marry at 22 and are still married at 92, others find a partner at 19 and, if they live to be 92, have been married and divorced three times. Others don't find the right partner until they're 50. Some don't ever find them. And hey, you're better than worrying about what other people think of your sexual status.

Unfortunately most of my friends have moved away from this city. Essentially I have zero friends, neither male nor female. I have perhaps one of two acquaintances from meetups, but distant ones at that. None are female. It has been hard making friends here, since most people have vastly different interests and personalities compared to me.

I think that the fact that I am socially awkward due to the various problems that I have probably makes it even harder. I very rarely talk about sex, even if others do so. I always have this "virgin" problem in the back of my mind that causes me a lot of sadness and despair, as if it were some sort of disease. Apart from the stigma itself, just the general feeling of missing out what most people do between ages 18-29 makes me feel like I have failed in life, at least on the social and dating fronts.

I guess what I was trying to say, though, was that you might find that approaching your problem of loneliness by talking about not having sex, and focusing on looking for a girlfriend so you can 'lose your virginity' is maybe not going to attract many women.

Do you have many female friends? Maybe just looking for a friendship, and then showing your positive qualities by being a good friend would improve how you feel about yourself (which will make you more attractive to any potential partner) and you never know what might develop or who you might meet through your friends.

I feel like I am being called a troll because I write about "weird" stuff. I mean, do you not think that this is denigrating? I am basically being told that my problems are not serious, but rather jokes to be made fun of. It is obvious that I am weird, it is part of why I am on the forum in the first place. I feel like people are just accusing me of something that I am not doing, and I absolutely despite that. It is like because I am weird, I am somehow a troll. Jesus Christ.

If I had a therapist or psychiatrist, I would ask/write the exact same things to him/her that I do anywhere. But I have poor health insurance, so I cannot afford any mental health consultations or sessions. I doubt any of them would tell me that I am trolling if I talked to them about these issues.

Well, a girlfriend which means both--compansionship plus physical relationship. Basically just about everything that is more or less commonplace in relationships.

Most people whom I meet are NT, so I suppose that perhaps that might be one of the problems. But from what I hear, most ASD people do not attend meetups/social gatherings, since they tend to be introverted. Introverts here, both ASD and neurotypical, tend to stay at home, so perhaps that might be why I very rarely meet any at meetups.

The Should Governments Criminalise Shaming Of Singles/Virgins? thread

OP = original poster :) 

What is OP?

What thread are you writing about?

Looks like the OP was accused of starting weird threads and trolling on Wrong Planet?? 

You aren't the only person in their thirties who has never had sex with another person, but I think the word 'virgin' is probably not helping. It has a lot of connotations that most people (autistic or not) would probably be better off without.

You can choose not to use 'virgin' to describe yourself if you want - just be really factual and use something like 'never been sexually active' if you ever have to say anything.

Perhaps you could also ask yourself how important sex really is? Because you sound like you're looking for companionship and a physical relationship isn't necessarily a part of that. Maybe don't look for dates; look for people who you share interests with, and find people you can get along well with. It might be that you can make closer relationships with other autistic people than with neurotypicals. I value my ND and NT friends but it was when I met the ND types (none of them diagnosed, some aren't autistic but would fit the Broader Autism Phenotype) that I really found people who I felt at home with.

,

There are a number of informative and supportive responses to the near identical thread you started about this issue on Wrong Planet. That thread runs to ten pages and has lots of advice and encouragement. You are unlikely to receive any different responses here especially as this site has far less traffic than WP.

As my first post said, if your not a troll heres my view. But due to some sad person very recently we re suspicious. You should be happy that you've made such great achievements in life. Dont worry about what you dont have. You seem super lucky from what you write. What profession do you aim to achieve?

If you are genuine, then welcome aboard - like I said, your first post showed all the warning signs of our recent troll so people will be wary.

What things do you do for fun?      What hobbies and pass-times do you have?    How do you spend your leisure time?    There are many things you can do to meet new people.

It iş almost 6 in the morning here. What I absolutely hate is being accused for no reason. How about a moderator check my IP address and verify ıf it bothers you só much then? If this is how I am going to be treated, then I never should have joined in the first place.