I'm not sure there's an easy answer to this, so it's probably just a bit of a vent. And it's a bit of a "first world problem".
Youngest daughter is now home from uni, and I've been making an effort to spend time with my wife watching TV (and really enjoying doing that *with* her). I'm autistic, my wife might be, and our daughter isn't.
In the evenings, our daughter constantly talks excitedly all the time we are trying to watch TV. So if we are watching a quiz, I miss the questions and/or answers. If we are watching a drama, I miss the dialogue and I'm completely thrown out of that meditative state that goes with quiet scenes of tension. Because of my ASD, I can't filter out background noise, and trying to concentrate on the TV whilst someone in the room is talking literally makes me wince as if someone has jabbed a screwdriver in my ear. When my wife and I talk about stuff that's on TV, we have that skill of timing the words to fall in gaps in the dialogue and be compatible with the atmosphere, so that neither of us has our enjoyment spoiled. Our daughter on the other hand will start talking about her day or her boyfriend or her friend's boyfriend or will simply be saying something like "Mum!, Mum!, Look at our dog! Look how she's tugging that toy!".
I've tried explaining that it's literally painful and stressing for me when there are multiple voices, but I don't seem to be able to convey that this is anything other than a mild annoyance. It's got to the state where I've told my wife that when daughter talks over the TV constantly, I literally can't be in the room or have to put on noise cancelling earbuds and music. Either way, I have to miss what I wanted to watch, which I don't think is fair. My wife's reply was "Is it fair that our daughter has to remain silent when she's in the lounge and the TV is on?". I understand that my needs don't outweigh hers, but what I can't seem to convey is that this is more than me getting annoyed because I've missed the answer to a question on The Chase! Which, for sure, *is* annoying, but I can't convey that it's like trying to watch TV whilst someone is banging an old metal dustbin with a stick at random intervals - the only way out is to take their stick away or leave the room!
