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Discovering that I might be autistic.

NAS64956

Until this point i'd never really know what autism or Asperger's syndrome is. This all changed when I started at a new 6th form college and I made a friend. The first friend i'd made for a very long time. 

I discovered that he was on the spectrum a few weeks ago and I decided to do some research into autism.

This has been a turning point for me, my life finally seems to make sense from a social perspective. When i started reading the signs and some of the statements from autism.org.uk i felt as if I was reading about me. Discovering autism explains a lot about me and my behaviour. A lot of the signs in adults (NHS) match with myself. Other cases i've read about also feel as if i'm reading a book about my own life.

I did the Autism-spectrum quotient (50 questions) test online and i've scored between 44 out of 50. Looking at the graph from the research paper, this would indicate that there is a high likelihood of an autism spectrum condition. However, of course, an online test is not a diagnosis. 

When i told my friend about this, he told me he thought i was on the spectrum... When i told a trusted member of staff about this, she stated "I was wondering when you would come to me about this" - They both seemed to have this feeling that I might be on the spectrum.

I'm not really sure how I feel about this. Part of me does not want to believe that I might be autistic because no one has ever pointed this out in the past17 years of my life. But part of me wants to believe that I might be autistic as it explains a lot about my life. 

I'm unsure if I want to pursue a diagnosis. I'm feeling a bit confused.

Parents

  • Hi, ive been in a similar situation as you the past few months, although i am twice your age.

    For 10 years ive been diagnosed with anxiety/GAD, and in the past few months started counselling , first with a group, then individually. Both counsellors seperately without consulting each other said they suspected i have aspergers. 

    Like you i was very shocked and confused when the first counsellor suggested this to me, id never considered the possibility, and once i started researching realised that the signs were there and it would explain a lot of things in my life. 

    What i did since it was first brought to my attention, is spend a few weeks researching, looking into pros and cons of diagnosis etc, trying to decide what i wanted to do. I gave myself a few weeks to just process the possibility. 

    Then i realised there would likely be a very long wait if i did proceed with assessment, so i decided to see my gp and get a referral, thinking that if i changed my mind and decided not to i could, but at least the process was underway. 

    Now the longer i wait the more i want to know, as it keeps coming up in my therapy sessions, and it also would help me to have a firm diagnosis as i have issues at work, particularly with communication, difficulties in an open plan office, and relationships with collegues. Ive completed the initial step (RAADS14 screening) and now waiting to find out if im recommended for a full assessment. 

    I cant tell you what to do, this is just my perspective and how i am tackling the situation, i didnt mean to ramble and not sure if this helps at all? 

  • in reply to NAS64098

    Hearing from someone else's perspective definitely helps. Thank you. 

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