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Feeling like the people I love would be better off without me :(

mouse2

I seem to attract one horrible person after another, by that I mean people who look to do you harm. I'm staying in more now and go to quiet things when I need social interaction but I still come across awful people. I honestly dont understand why this is. I'm exhausted once more from working out situations, peoples intentions, 'what if' thoughts. Tired of shut downs when I need urgently to take action (something awful happened recently and I shut down, I couldnt stop myself from it I felt useless and I let someone down in a huge way)

The thing is, I can stay in all week and go out just once and something can happen that regular people have no experience of. I want to stay home indefinatly but I know that I cant as I'm a parent. I just feel helpless and a rubbish parent as I cant decipher people in time or I shut down completely 

Im just so tired. Ive called the Samaratans twice these last few days, As usual you cant get into the GP's. This one incident has shaken me to the core, it was by someone you should be able to trust too. I feel so tired right now :(

Parents

  • The people you love, love you and would be devastated to lose you.

    If you suffered a shutdown when in a stressful situation you didn't let anyone down - this is a psychological/physiological response to stress that you have little/no control over - the person you feel you let down will understand if they care about you that you couldn't help them - and that's a dig difference from 'wouldn't' or 'could have but didn't'...

    Can you make changes that mean you don't need to take 'urgent action' (triggering a shutdown)? Or, are you experiencing a baseline level of stressors that mean a shutdown is never far off - if so, can you reduce that background stress so you have the capacity to take 'urgent action when required.

    Ideally do both approaches...

    "When you're going through hell, the trick is to keep going..." Winston Churchill

Reply

  • The people you love, love you and would be devastated to lose you.

    If you suffered a shutdown when in a stressful situation you didn't let anyone down - this is a psychological/physiological response to stress that you have little/no control over - the person you feel you let down will understand if they care about you that you couldn't help them - and that's a dig difference from 'wouldn't' or 'could have but didn't'...

    Can you make changes that mean you don't need to take 'urgent action' (triggering a shutdown)? Or, are you experiencing a baseline level of stressors that mean a shutdown is never far off - if so, can you reduce that background stress so you have the capacity to take 'urgent action when required.

    Ideally do both approaches...

    "When you're going through hell, the trick is to keep going..." Winston Churchill

Children
  • in reply to Original Prankster

    This was a stressful day anyway (I cant go into detail for certain reasons) but what someone done was very unprofessional and extremly concerning. I wish I'd listened to my gut feeling when I first met them but I struggle working people out and give them the benefit of the doubt and then find out when its way too late. I keep getting visions of hanging myself at the moment as I'm replaying the event over and over in my head. This is why I'm calling samaritans and trying to get external support with what I need to do next to address this.

    I'm honest, caring and kind so I dont understand people who do what they do to other people it scares me what may have happened after I shut down