Does anyone here feel they have been robbed of a normal life?

I would add that it has held me back in my career from both failing interviews and losing jobs because of social difficulties which seem to be more important to employers than qualifications, skills and intelligence put together

Thanks

Mytwenty said:

I have to ask you how having mental health issues gave you urges to shout racist obscenities?

There are several mental illnesses that induce what is considered "racist remarks." Tourette syndrome is one: people have little to no control over the behavior, and may decrease as a person ages. See for example "Coprolalia."

As someone living with severe mental illness, I have to ask you how having mental health issues gave you urges to shout racist obscenities? Was it because you had persecutory thoughts about the black and asian people? 

awesome 

NTs also compare themselves to others just like u,  so u suffer just like NTs do. 

read about what Bankei (zen monk) said in the 1600s about being disabled

I am, who I am !

"Does anyone here feel they have been robbed of a normal life?"

Not that it matters, but yes, I feel "robbed" by not having a typical human life.

Driving has always been problematic for me.  I'd have preferred not to learn but so many factors have pushed me in that direction over the years and it felt as though I wasn't allowed to opt out of it. 

We also seem to live in a car culture and not driving led to me feeling excluded and deprived of certain opportunities in life.  So I did it, but with great difficulty and loads of stress.  I've never felt comfortable with it.  Plus, as you say, there are those out there who would drive over you given the chance.  

I find that driving situations can bring out the worst in people.  For me it often feels very confrontational in nature and I generally get by by adopting a kind of driving persona - that of someone more confident and decisive than I actually am.  I also deskilled it somewhat by driving an automatic plus tackled some of my more negative driving-related thoughts with a homespun CBT approach.  

Still, I feel irked that it comes so easily to many.  So easily, in fact, that when someone is trying to convince others that something apparently difficult becomes second nature after a while, they refer to it being like driving.  They clearly don't realise that inside I'm thinking, "Oh no!  If it's as hard as that then I just know I can't go through that again!"

I am able to drive - I passed the driving test in 2007, aged 28. However, people in our area would drive over you; given the chance.

Driving became a forced exercise. Then I gave up driving three months ago. However, should I get a job, I will rent a car and see how well I would cope.

Because of my mental health issues, I had urges to shout racist obscenities at Black/Asian people I see in public. That had been ongoing since I was about sixteen. Then, at University, I went out of my way to be friendly towards Black/Asian students.

I am stepping out of my comfort zone more often now, coping better on my own with mundane housework. But social events, especially in the evening time, exacerbate my anxiety. I don't do nights out.

Yes, but there is nothing I could do about it then or now. I doubt that if I had been diagnosed in my teens, there would have been much that could been done. If there had then maybe I would have had a more varied career (instead of staying at the same company for 32 years) been more adventurous going abroad and had better luck with woman - mainly just not realising someone was interested :( .

Its been a pain having social skills where all interaction goes through some sort of extended analysis delay, so that I'm simply not on the ball at all :(

I do sometimes feel this way, but even though II'm still waiting for assessment I am grateful to have a possible explanation that causing less self loathing than my previous default position which was that I am no different to everyone else and just somehow weak and useless. There is a lot of the so called normal stuff I haven't experienced such as a romantic relationship etc, but I don't really miss that so much as having spent a lot of time feeling extremely negative about myself for failing to hold down a job for more than a couple of days. I'm in a sort of limbo stage where I'm just glad not to hate myself any more

I used to feel that way yes. I remember, usually at night, I would be so emotional over it and hated that I wasn't able to do what everyone else could do. But the truth is we're more less all the same. No one is perfect and no one is normal, we all have different strengths and differences that's what makes us who we are. I know several people who have struggles, there's a guy in my local library who finds it hard talking to people and understanding them. And I used to know a woman who seemed as though she had Autism but after having tests it turned out she wasn't. She was different and that's fine. I liked her because of how pleasant she was, she was meek but very kind and graceful with it. It was that reason why I liked her so much.

You can't change who you are, I learned that and decided to embrace who I am and now I'm so much happier and enjoying myself. There's still parts of me which I could do without but overall I'm blessed to be here with all of you

No.

1) What's a 'normal' life anyway? If you said 'typical' then maybe it means I haven't had a 'typical' life, but then to me typical = boring so I probably wouldn't want that anyway.

2) How could I be 'robbed'? That implies there was something i had but it was taken from me - I've always been autistic, so I'd say I never had  a 'normal' life ahead of me anyway.

Have I had a difficulties in my life? Yes - but so have non-autistic people

Have I had happiness in my life? Yes

Have I had a better life than other people? Yes and no - I've had a better life than some autistic and non-autistic people and a more challenging life than others

You get the life you get, what you do with it and how you feel about it is up to you.

You say...

NAS62372 said:

autism has stopped me from doing so many things that neurotypical people seem to do

Has 'autism' stopped you, or has the lack of accommodation by the NT world stopped you?

Has it actually stopped you, or has it just made it more difficult?

How can you know what kind of a life you would have had if you weren't autistic?

I know the above probably sounds trite, glib, dismissive etc. - it's not intended to be hurtful, it's just the world view I've developed through the trials and tribulations of 48 years on this planet.

YMMV

I'm not sure.  I think I've still done many of those "normal" things but perhaps with mcuh greater difficulty than many.  I suppose i resent not being able to do certain things quite as effortlessly as many NTs seem to.  

That said, there have been certain things which have come more easily to me and these have probably also been due to my (unidentified) autism.  I guess a certain amount of misunderstanding has been generated because the things I've found easier (e.g. exams, maths, tax, languages etc) have just been taken for granted as a kind of natural gift, whereas the things I've found difficult (driving, office politics, public speaking, meetings etc) have led to blame and lack of understanding - most frequently along the lines of, "If you're so good at this (stuff we NTs find to be understandably quite challenging) how come you're so lousy at that (things NTs believe somehow come naturally).  

I feel better now I've understood more about the source of the misunderstandings and feelings of difference so I would say that the role of "robber" in this tale isn't autism itself but lack of identification of autism plus little acceptance or accommodation.      

I don't. I admit I have been very lucky in my life. I have had issues with anxiety since forever but I know other people, NT and ASD who have far greater problems. Yes, some people seem to breeze through life but that's just the way it is. And sometimes those same people do run into problems and they're not equipped to deal with them.

I said in a reply to another thread that knowing I was ASD earlier in my life may have made a difference, but in truth, it may not have changed a thing about how I chose to be.

Unsurprisingly I'm not great at relating to other people, so don't take anything I say as anything other than my experience. I'm certainly not trying to deny your experience.

i have so many moments in my past which should have been positive moments but instead they were not due to my numerous issues, so i kinda feel robbed. At the same time i do believe my life would of been better if i was diagnosed young instead of at 31.

Reflecting back on my life I have come to the conclusion has pretty much wrecked my life.

Two failed careers one failed marriage and the second is on the rocks, all can be attributed to my autism. My present wife recons that I have pretty much destroyed her over the last 25 years, something I strongly disagree with after all I have been the one in the relationship trying to make it work by pandering to her every wish. I was hoping that my diagnosis last year might have helped her to understand me and to give me some much needed support but no its had the opposite effect. She now feels that all is lost and there is no hope of me ever changing.

I grew up experiencing some extreme racism and that started decades before I found out that I was autistic. As such the added adversity feels...familiar.

1. Sort of, I believe that my ASD was one of the reasons I was never one of the popular kids at school that got invited to house parties and I also avoided the prom. At university I missed most of the social side of it such as freshers week and did not pursue any social activities such as joining clubs. The other thing is that I have never had a proper relationship by age 27. I have had a lot of dates but never anything proper. I also received a criminal record for offending someone online which I believe was due to my ASD because I could not tell I had upset them as they used to message me in the same way. Because of my criminal record I will probably not work again because it was too much for me to cope with