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1. It sounds like your putting a very high value on the opinions of others and that is dictating your opinion of yourself. If you have closed yourself off from the world and relied on a very small network for support, when that support fails to resolve an issue or worse changes and becomes a new problem then you would be very vulnerable and isolated. It sounds like your making the right steps by reaching out on a forum like this but really you need to reach out in the real world, finding a support network that isn't exhausted from your issues or even one that has gone through similar issues can instantly stop you from feeling alone and you can support each other so that you dont feel like your just taking all the time. I would be looking for groups that could be focused on autism or simply groups focused on hobbies / something you enjoy. Theres a huge spectrum of people in this world from negative to positive depending one whos interacting with them. Time to give your family a break? :)

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Sorry WolfyC, ignore my comment if your initial feeling from it is as you describe i don't mean to bring you down.. the main point i was trying to get across (but may have got lost) is that you need to find a way of being ok with yourself and that can be difficult when your constantly feeling guilt about how your actions are affecting others. Just do you and work on focusing on the positives, by the sound of it all your wants is to see you find a bit of joy especially your mum who clearly wants you to succeed from what you've written. 
  Guilt, embarrassment and shame all come from focusing on the past and future. leave the past where it is and there's no more guilt, stop trying to predict the future and you may not be worried about how people will see you the you focus on now and start to heal the shame by spreading your pockets of joy with those you care about,

  Hope you find some answers on here and thank you for letting me know how my message came across