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Disappointed in myself

EmmaGiggles

I'm not sure if anyone else on the spectrum feels this way but I am so disappointed in myself and most of the time really hate who I am.

My name is Emma and I'm 22, nearly 23, and my life feels empty and pointless. I'm fortunate to have a loving and supportive family, they have always been there for me and I love them all more than anything.

But I hate myself and it's becoming a real problem. I've never liked myself since I was diagnosed and as I've got older that feeling has only gotten stronger. I'm nearly 23 and I have nothing to show for it! I'm not pretty, I have no friends, no job and I am not trusted to go out by myself or even do the simplest things by myself like cooking... It's embarrassing to say the least and I know if it continues my life will continue to sink further into the ground.

I also feel like I'm becoming severely depressed. I've been depressed before but not like this, it feels worse now and I'm constantly experiencing bad thoughts which make me feel rubbish.

I dislike everything about who I am and I just want to go away. Sometimes I feel like I don't belong anywhere.

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  • Hello Emma, 

    Your honesty really strike home with me because I feel the same as you but even before I was diagnosed I was an outcast unable to fit anywhere, no one had faith in me I too look like the thing from the void. 

    I'm sure you don't look that bad anyway. 

    but my point is other people including me have gone and still go through what you are going through.

    So let me tell you what I do and I hope it might inspire a bit of relief for you. 

    I find something I like to  do and set a goal for me it's making thing so I want to paint a jacket but I will take lots of time find the best way to do it best paints for the job make my design and start the best I possibly can until I finish, 

    When it is finished I feel I've accomplished something this really helps me when I feel worthless. 

    Also learn something random, language, driving, archery (cool choice), clothes making, This helps me.

    Read all of the greatest books written this I still haven't done, but when you say to yourself I have experienced the work of some the greatest writers who have ever lived I feel I've been given an insight to those minds and sometimes adjust my own outlook on life. 

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  • Hello Emma, 

    Your honesty really strike home with me because I feel the same as you but even before I was diagnosed I was an outcast unable to fit anywhere, no one had faith in me I too look like the thing from the void. 

    I'm sure you don't look that bad anyway. 

    but my point is other people including me have gone and still go through what you are going through.

    So let me tell you what I do and I hope it might inspire a bit of relief for you. 

    I find something I like to  do and set a goal for me it's making thing so I want to paint a jacket but I will take lots of time find the best way to do it best paints for the job make my design and start the best I possibly can until I finish, 

    When it is finished I feel I've accomplished something this really helps me when I feel worthless. 

    Also learn something random, language, driving, archery (cool choice), clothes making, This helps me.

    Read all of the greatest books written this I still haven't done, but when you say to yourself I have experienced the work of some the greatest writers who have ever lived I feel I've been given an insight to those minds and sometimes adjust my own outlook on life. 

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