Disappointed in myself

Hi Emma

Your feelings are very common - you're very young and you've really only just finished education - your life has been very prescribed and ordered from childhood.     Everyone has told you what to do and how to do it - and you've suddenly popped out into the adult word of total freedom and no rules - it's a really uncomfortable place for us.   You have so many options that you can't work out what to do.

Are you able to talk to your parents about this?      They may be very worried about you and afraid to talk to you about it - I'd guess they'd love to help you move forward if they were aware that you'd like to do something different.

Without any guidance or direction, you're just paddling in circles so you will get stressed.      I would suggest a couple of things - have a good think and write out a bucket list of things you've always wanted to see and do and places you'd love to visit.       Make a very long list and keep it live - keep adding to it as you think of things or see things that inspire you on tv.        Then look at it and see if any are possible right now.    (my niece always wanted to do indoor skydiving - and there's a place near to us - so we went and did it).

Something else to try is volunteering - there's usually a local paper or look on the internet for any charities near you and offer yourself for a day or two to help them out - you'd be surprised at how many places just need some help to sort something out or help to empty cupboards or move some things - get yourself known in the community.     Old people's homes love to have visitors to chat to people to give some variety to the old people's days.     When you get out and about, you'll often see other opportunities for yourself.    I'd avoid volunteering for charity shops - it can be too much pressure and commitment if you're not sure what you want to do.

Hi Emma, i have been here. whilst in school i determined that the only meaning to life was to reproduce pass your knowledge and die, struggling with all forms of romantic relationship i felt that my life was pointless and would continually plan to end my life on the premises that it had no meaning. I too put value in physical appearance, successful careers and strong social circles but as time goes on i began to understand that although important these attributes do not in themselves achieve purpose or even happiness. 
  The point that i stopped trying to fit into everyone else's norm and just did as 'plastic' suggests (pick a few goals and work towards them one at a time adding more as your grow and learn who you are and what makes you tick) the easier i found it to find little pockets of joy in my life and then when i found myself planning 'the end' i would think that i just want to hit my next goal first and now i am 30 and still kicking. also when you find comfort in your own wants and desires you tend to meet similar minded people along the way where you can build meaningful friendships / relationships..
  don't put too much value in society definition of success as everyone is chasing happiness so therefore nobody has found one true answer.. 

Hi Emma, i have been here. whilst in school i determined that the only meaning to life was to reproduce pass your knowledge and die, struggling with all forms of romantic relationship i felt that my life was pointless and would continually plan to end my life on the premises that it had no meaning. I too put value in physical appearance, successful careers and strong social circles but as time goes on i began to understand that although important these attributes do not in themselves achieve purpose or even happiness. 
  The point that i stopped trying to fit into everyone else's norm and just did as 'plastic' suggests (pick a few goals and work towards them one at a time adding more as your grow and learn who you are and what makes you tick) the easier i found it to find little pockets of joy in my life and then when i found myself planning 'the end' i would think that i just want to hit my next goal first and now i am 30 and still kicking. also when you find comfort in your own wants and desires you tend to meet similar minded people along the way where you can build meaningful friendships / relationships..
  don't put too much value in society definition of success as everyone is chasing happiness so therefore nobody has found one true answer..