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Unsure If I Have Asperger's or Just Anxiety

NAS62412

Hi all.

I have an appointment with a doctor tomorrow because my situation is causing me great distress. I have problems with anxiety, namely OCD, but I am finding it increasingly difficult to speak to people. Since a young age I have been incredibly quiet and I can often sit silent if there are people there I don't know. I used to do this a lot as a child and a teen but have tried to force myself out of this although it's tiring and extremely difficult, it feels forced.

I have always had very few friends but over the past few years I have none anymore and I am unable to make new friends. I make people feel awkward and I have no idea why, I am unable to make conversation or keep it flowing and if I'm honest, I'd much rather just sit on my own quietly but that isn't acceptable in society it seems. People always tell me how I'm very methodical, analytical and have to keep to structure. I have issues deviating from a schedule or how I perceive something should be followed. I'm extremely anxious all of the time and this is affecting my life incredibly.

I have never approached a doctor about my suspicions relating to Asperger's as I'm not too sure if it actually is Asperger's or possibly just an anxiety issue. 

Can anyone shed any light on this at all? Are there symptoms or traits I should consider before I bring this up to my doctor? My job is extremely social and this is causing me severe concern as it is detrimental to my role.

Thank you.

Parents

  • Hello,

    I'm sorry to hear you're in distress. I can only offer my experience, as I'm sure others will. 

    Before diagnosis, I was totally ignorant about what autism actually is until it was suggested to me by a counsellor. As I learned more about it, it was obvious to me that I have Aspergers. The reason I was so certain, is that I have always experienced the following: 

    -Problems with people

    -Problems with noise (including exaggerated startle reflex since infancy; I have developed a complex about this as it can be very embarrassing)

    -Obsession with technical subjects

    -Postural problems 

    -Difficulty with physical gestures (e.g. hugs, handshakes, getting up out of my seat)

    -Difficulty with facial expressions (knowing what to do and when)

    -Poor short term memory 

    -Excellent rote memory

    -Fear of change

    -Difficulty with open-ended questions 

    -Difficulty making decisions

     

    ... As you can see, I am a pretty textbook Aspie. I have also since been diagnosed with ADHD. Do any of the above apply to you? 

    I think if I were to advise you to do one thing, it would be to leave the final say to the diagnostician(s), whatever your suspicions may be at this point. Sometimes it takes a long time for things to unravel and become clear. 

    Good luck on your journey, 

    Tintal

    Ps: one thing you can do starting right now is try some practical adjustments aimed at helping autistic people, and see if they help you, e.g. 

    -Create structure / routines for yourself

    -Modify your environment to minimise harsh stimuli (e.g. with headphones / glasses etc)

    -Identify potential stressors (e.g. parties / work socialising) and give yourself a temporary rest from them

    See if these things help. Bear in mind, if you are diagnosed, this is what you will have to do (make informed adjustments for yourself). 

  • in reply to tintal

    Thank you for this. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow which is the first time I will mention this possibility of Asperger's to them. There are a number of things I experience and I don't know if this is indicative of just typical anxiety or Asperger's.

    -Unable to think of anything to say to people. This is even when I know them and I'm not anxious. I'd rather just sit quietly.

    -I can't bear noise. I hate loud and TVs etc. And if I hear a small repetitive noise I have to find out what it is and stop it. Most other people do not hear or notice the noise.

    -I am known to be awkward, and people make jokes about this and call me characters from TV and cartoons.

    -I don't like hand holding, hugs or any physical contact. The only time I feel comfortable doing so is when I am drunk. 

    -Don't like people touching my food, handling my food, etc. This is not because of germs, I'm not sure what it is.

    -I have to have structures and procedures for everything. I can't do anything unexpected.

    -I cannot make decisions. I'm not sure if this is due to confidence issues.

Reply
  • in reply to tintal

    Thank you for this. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow which is the first time I will mention this possibility of Asperger's to them. There are a number of things I experience and I don't know if this is indicative of just typical anxiety or Asperger's.

    -Unable to think of anything to say to people. This is even when I know them and I'm not anxious. I'd rather just sit quietly.

    -I can't bear noise. I hate loud and TVs etc. And if I hear a small repetitive noise I have to find out what it is and stop it. Most other people do not hear or notice the noise.

    -I am known to be awkward, and people make jokes about this and call me characters from TV and cartoons.

    -I don't like hand holding, hugs or any physical contact. The only time I feel comfortable doing so is when I am drunk. 

    -Don't like people touching my food, handling my food, etc. This is not because of germs, I'm not sure what it is.

    -I have to have structures and procedures for everything. I can't do anything unexpected.

    -I cannot make decisions. I'm not sure if this is due to confidence issues.

Children
  • in reply to NAS62412

    Good luck. I hope you’ll find your answer soon. I’ve been waiting for my assessment for 2 years now and I’m still doubting myself. Is it autism or just anxiety? Is it autism or sensory processing disorder or maybe it’s something completely “normal”? Maybe it’s just extremely low stress tolerance? And communication problems? Maybe I’m just super introverted with awful social skills? I don’t know. Especially that I don’t really feel connected to others, on the spectrum or not. I just don’t know what to do with people, what to say to them. It would be perfect if I could connect to people the way I can connect to dogs or cats - just look at them, be with them, sit or walk with them. Skip talking altogether.