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I feel ashamed of my autism

Maddie

im 18 years old with high functioning autism and in the last couple of years I've really started to see a difference between me and other people. when I try to be social at work or Other activities like soccer I feel like they don't understand me and are annoyed or confused. I just started a sales job a couple of months ago and slowly my hours or being decreased from 20 a week to 4 or 5 week . now don't get me wrong I always work super hard and I don't ever slack off at all but I feel my manger has started to realized that there might be something wrong with me for example I have slurred words with customers when im nervous or afraid when he's watching and simple request over the phone have been hard to take down. I feel that in all my life I can always try 110% at everything but I always struggle with what ever im supposed to do then I get super exhausted and upset since I put all my energy to that one thing but couldn't even do it right. 

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  • Have you disclosed your autism to your manager?  I think there is quite varied advice on whether or not this is a good idea, but I think that if this is clearly affecting your ability to do your work, then it might be a good idea to tell them.  There are probably others on this forum who can advise you better than me on how to go about this, but I would explain that you've been having some difficulties because you have been trying to hide this condition and hiding it is wearing you down.  If you had an employer who could give you a little support, it would really help to bring out your best.  Employers do have a legal obligation to make 'reasonable adjustments' to support you in your work.  This could be a quiet place to work when you need to concentrate on something, equipment for recording phonecalls (as long as the caller is made aware that you're recording) and so on.  But, my hunch is that if you just told them and they gave you an understanding, encouraging response, you would feel that weight lift and you'd suddenly have extra capacity for concentrating on the job at hand.

    I think it is also important to tell your manager that your autism could be considered advantageous as long as you are supported.  Many autistic people have superior attention to detail, good factual memory, skill with numbers etc.  Have a think about relevant skills you think you're good at and remind them of these.

    I have mild ASD and have worked for several years in a highly commercial environment.  Because of the typical personality types often attracted to commercial sales, I have often had trouble communicating with colleagues and it has lead to frustration on both sides.  I am still learning how to minimise these issues, as I was only diagnosed earlier this year, but you and I both need to find a way to make peace with what we are and realise that it can actually have value.  In my line of work, most of the customers are scientists who are often somewhat introverted themselves and do not respond well to the typical  salespeople.  Try to realise that it may give you an edge over your colleagues if you can just be yourself more.  And remember, if you are dealing with the general public, a few of them will most likely be autistic too!

  • in reply to Bacteriaman

    .good points made.Your skills may relate to persistence, computers, analysis. Reflect on your positives and work out what are your great points

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