I feel ashamed of my autism

I was going to try and type out an answer myself, but I'm just going to second this one - perfectly put

.good points made.Your skills may relate to persistence, computers, analysis. Reflect on your positives and work out what are your great points

Have you disclosed your autism to your manager?  I think there is quite varied advice on whether or not this is a good idea, but I think that if this is clearly affecting your ability to do your work, then it might be a good idea to tell them.  There are probably others on this forum who can advise you better than me on how to go about this, but I would explain that you've been having some difficulties because you have been trying to hide this condition and hiding it is wearing you down.  If you had an employer who could give you a little support, it would really help to bring out your best.  Employers do have a legal obligation to make 'reasonable adjustments' to support you in your work.  This could be a quiet place to work when you need to concentrate on something, equipment for recording phonecalls (as long as the caller is made aware that you're recording) and so on.  But, my hunch is that if you just told them and they gave you an understanding, encouraging response, you would feel that weight lift and you'd suddenly have extra capacity for concentrating on the job at hand.

I think it is also important to tell your manager that your autism could be considered advantageous as long as you are supported.  Many autistic people have superior attention to detail, good factual memory, skill with numbers etc.  Have a think about relevant skills you think you're good at and remind them of these.

I have mild ASD and have worked for several years in a highly commercial environment.  Because of the typical personality types often attracted to commercial sales, I have often had trouble communicating with colleagues and it has lead to frustration on both sides.  I am still learning how to minimise these issues, as I was only diagnosed earlier this year, but you and I both need to find a way to make peace with what we are and realise that it can actually have value.  In my line of work, most of the customers are scientists who are often somewhat introverted themselves and do not respond well to the typical  salespeople.  Try to realise that it may give you an edge over your colleagues if you can just be yourself more.  And remember, if you are dealing with the general public, a few of them will most likely be autistic too!

Hello, Maddie.

There's no need to feel ashamed of being on the spectrum. You simply have a condition that just adds to your unique personality.

I do know where you are coming from. Others seem to look at me (Despite Autism being an invisible condition, and because I am big), and assume that I am unable or unwilling to do certain things. I am also, generally, a quiet person which left me a target for bullying. For years before I was diagnosed, I had suspected that there was something different about me.

Modern workplaces are investing in employee training, so that employees understand the different characteristics that fall within it. This is so that there will be a prevention of prejudice and bullying in the workplace.

I hope that this helps.

Try not to worry about it, you'll be alright.