Published on 12, July, 2020
After a lifetime of copying people to fit in (without realising) how do I stop? How do I find the real me? I feel exhausted right now. I've been reading about ASD in women and wow do I mask alot depending on the situation. I feel I dont know who I am after nearly 40 years masking. I wish that I could be like my don, he is who he is and that's that. Anyone else experienced this with masking?
For me, the first step was telling people about my diagnosis...
...then explaining what that meant...
...then explaining 'masking' and how exhausting that is...
...then explaining 'spoon theory' and how when I have 'low spoons' I find it really hard to 'mask'...
...then putting a 'spoonometer' (traffic light system) on desk to indicate my current spoon levels so they were prepared if I didn't want to/couldn't interact in a 'NT appropriate' way
...by that point it was already simply easier to just 'be myself' and the need to mask/stress of feeling the need to mask had reduced to the point where I didn't actually need to mask as much in the first place as I was in a 'better place' anyway...
If people understand why you might act in way they find 'odd/inappropriate' and can accept it, then you don't need to mask
Yes, I like the spoonometer very much. :)
Thats actually really great advice, I like the spoonmeter idea also