Don't know where to turn anymore

I'm struggling to get through each day.

My mother has submitted a long and detailed complaint to the NHS and social services but heaven knows how long that will take to be resolved. It's already a process that's been ongoing for over 5 months, since she first submitted the complaint.

I go out for walks, it's one of the few things I feel able to do and feel terrified when I walk past some people, I don't feel much of a connection at all with society at large. I feel oppressed and scared.

I no longer have much trust in any government or council organisations, nor charities, though I admit I do rely on the Samaritans for regular support.

There have been nasty incidents from my neighbours at the flat where I live and likewise nasty incidents from my father at the house where my parents live and I sometimes stay to escape my neighbours.

I don't think the word depression does justice to what I'm experiencing. I feel it's more like social cleansing. That society is trying to eradicate me from the gene pool.

Parents
  • I feel like this today. People who said they would support me have lied, twisted things I've said and taken advantage of my trusting nature. I feel like there's nowhere to turn. I would like to step backwards and out of the world for a bit. 

    I'm sorry you feel this way. It's horrible. Coming to terms with the fact that most people are selfish, dishonest, self-serving, is not a nice realisation. And then we're branded as weird or worse for being different.

    I can't withdraw from life as I have a husband and daughter who need me but the constant pressure of dealing with unkind people is making me very low.

    I tend to throw myself into a hobby, or go down a YouTube rabbit hole.

    And I keep telling myself it will get better eventually. It always has before.

    Sorry if I've made you feel even worse. It's been a particularly bad day amongst a few really awful months. I hope we both find a little joy soon. 

Reply
  • I feel like this today. People who said they would support me have lied, twisted things I've said and taken advantage of my trusting nature. I feel like there's nowhere to turn. I would like to step backwards and out of the world for a bit. 

    I'm sorry you feel this way. It's horrible. Coming to terms with the fact that most people are selfish, dishonest, self-serving, is not a nice realisation. And then we're branded as weird or worse for being different.

    I can't withdraw from life as I have a husband and daughter who need me but the constant pressure of dealing with unkind people is making me very low.

    I tend to throw myself into a hobby, or go down a YouTube rabbit hole.

    And I keep telling myself it will get better eventually. It always has before.

    Sorry if I've made you feel even worse. It's been a particularly bad day amongst a few really awful months. I hope we both find a little joy soon. 

Children
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