Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve been told that autistic people have fantastic memories. A few people on the spectrum are like walking encyclopaedias. I am not like this. I have always had a very poor memory. I had surgery on my wrist years ago and cannot remember which wrist it was. There are people I went to school with that remember me, I don’t remember them. This was back in high school. People will tell me something at work and have to repeat it several times and I still won’t remember it. I don’t remember hardly any of my birthdays, chunks of my life are gone. It has always been like this. I feel like I’m broken. Sounds bother me, smells bother me, people bother me. I don’t know what purpose I serve here since I don’t find enjoyment in much. If I had a great memory, I would love to go back to university to study. I went to college for nursing and it was such a struggle to pass all the courses. Is anyone else like this. I don’t know what to do to improve my memory. I feel like I am falling apart.
Sorry to hear that this is making you feel this way.
If it helps you at all, I've found that a lot of my memory is linked to my mental health. I think I've forgotten a lot of past events because they contained difficult/painful times, and near-constant anxiety means that I struggle to process events in the here-and-now, which I think may stop me from laying down memories of events.
My short-term memory is an issue at work. I have to write everything down or I will forget what I need to do.
I've found keeping a diary really helps me with remembering events. I don't write in it every day, just if something significant happens.
I struggled completing my degree too. More because of all the sensory/social aspects of being around big groups of people.
Take care