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Recently diagnosed adult and not coping well

Gafa

Hi All,

I am brand new to the community and this is my first post.

I had a private assessment last week and was diagnosed with asd. I was "hoping" for this outcome but now I've got the diagnosis I'm having a bit of a meltdown.

I have a full time job and a wife and live what society would consider a normal life but have always known I was a bit different and previously have had diagnosis of dyslexia, dyspraxia, anxiety and depression.

With this new diagnosis I am questioning everything that I previously thought I knew about myself and my perception of the world. The worst thing perhaps is suddenly feeling more disabled than before and feeling less able/confident than I was before. 

If anyone else has had an adult diagnosis and struggled with similar thoughts and adjustment I would really appreciate hearing from you.

Parents

  • I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, I'm 45. My reaction surprised me, as it's been a running joke.

    My childhood reframed, and I appreciate your comment about feeling 'more disabled' or 'less confident', this rings true with me.

    I'm very confident in myself via mechanisms I've built to deal along the years, I'm happy to be 'odd' and without many friends, however this has hit me a little. I'm more conscious of my impact on others, I feel tired of being me on days.

    I was diagnosed with ADHD-C a couple of years back with a note on Asperger's traits, I've only recently got the formal diagnosis after a private assessment with a Shrink, and it's been quite odd in my experience. It's like having all my options to 'improve' taken from me.

    I don't have emotional attachment to people, and the positive is that my family now understand this, they reacted positively, as did my wife, it's not all bad.

    I'm on a roller coaster, good days and bad, nothing massively dramatic, I'm just processing the day as it comes and my awareness shifts.

    On Reddit someone described it as similar to grief, albeit I don't have that experience in deaths, conceptually you will pass through stages, frustrated, angered, hopeless, acceptance etc.

    I see that, I was after first shell shock (even when expecting it) I was angry, the way I was labelled and treated as a kid, the disruptive naughty good for nothing, ADHD & ASD wasn't well known then.

    It's getting easier, people are generally positive, I'm just dealing with the heighted awareness that can be unsettling for me as I see how I am, unable to change.

    It won't get worse, only better, self awareness is always a positive, and that's how I ride it out.

Reply

  • I was diagnosed 2 weeks ago, I'm 45. My reaction surprised me, as it's been a running joke.

    My childhood reframed, and I appreciate your comment about feeling 'more disabled' or 'less confident', this rings true with me.

    I'm very confident in myself via mechanisms I've built to deal along the years, I'm happy to be 'odd' and without many friends, however this has hit me a little. I'm more conscious of my impact on others, I feel tired of being me on days.

    I was diagnosed with ADHD-C a couple of years back with a note on Asperger's traits, I've only recently got the formal diagnosis after a private assessment with a Shrink, and it's been quite odd in my experience. It's like having all my options to 'improve' taken from me.

    I don't have emotional attachment to people, and the positive is that my family now understand this, they reacted positively, as did my wife, it's not all bad.

    I'm on a roller coaster, good days and bad, nothing massively dramatic, I'm just processing the day as it comes and my awareness shifts.

    On Reddit someone described it as similar to grief, albeit I don't have that experience in deaths, conceptually you will pass through stages, frustrated, angered, hopeless, acceptance etc.

    I see that, I was after first shell shock (even when expecting it) I was angry, the way I was labelled and treated as a kid, the disruptive naughty good for nothing, ADHD & ASD wasn't well known then.

    It's getting easier, people are generally positive, I'm just dealing with the heighted awareness that can be unsettling for me as I see how I am, unable to change.

    It won't get worse, only better, self awareness is always a positive, and that's how I ride it out.

Children
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