Hi everyone, I am new to this community and have not yet received a diagnosis, however I have now been referred for diagnosis by my gp. I am just posting because I am wondering if anyone else experiences anything similar to me and how they have coped.
I am not entirely sure if this is a symptom of autism but I am battling an unusual phobia. I have an intense fear of being in buildings alone, including my own home. As you can imagine this is very difficult to deal with, particularly when I struggle with working because of social issues and everyone in my family works. It means that I am left alone all day with no support and I absolutely will not be in the house so I end up just drifting about all day. I am in the process of starting a part time job which will help my situation but I am very worried about how I will cope.
It drives me mad struggling with working. I find working with others and meeting new people so so difficult. I have every desire to work and I am in no way lazy. I am more than willing to work really hard. It is just the social and routine aspect. It's very very difficult for me.
Interviews are difficult too because a lot of eye contact is expected and I tend to find that if someone makes eye contact with me I am then unable to answer their question or sometimes even remember what they asked me!
No one really knows I am struggling because I am so good at making behaviours. I do have a couple of friends and I have talked to them about this and they do feel like they can see the behaviours in me which indicate autism. But I have not talked to my mum about this at all as I know she will get upset and then I will become overwhelmed by her emotional response possibly leading me to some kind of meltdown.
Bit of a ranting post so I apologise for that!
Thanks to anyone who read this x