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obesessive regrets and suicide ?Trigger

DaveAsperg

I look on here a lot trying to understand autism and why we have such a high suicide rate. I have been plagued with suicidal ideation for 6 years now and do not want to die, but I don't think many people understand how the 2 opposite thoughts can exist. I have a feeling of inevitability that my life will end soon, but have been prosecuted for this which makes me feel even worse. I have been devoting all my life and finances to trying to beat this, but seem to be failing and the police prosecution and media lack of understanding made things very much worse.

It is well recognised that we as autistics have a high suicide rate and my feeling personally is that is we have such a mental focus on one thing at a time, which is helpful if that is a work related or competitive matter, but terrible if it is a focus on negativity and suicide.

I am in England and should be celebrating the victory today but instead was thinking how I had let my children down by not taking them to the national rugby games in their childhood, when I had the opportunity as living near Twickenham.

Dwelling on negativity, which lots on here do , seems very bad, especially if we reach suicidal ideation.

Distraction ? may help. Keeping busy with positivity if that is possible, but isolation and rumination seems very dangerous.

What do others think??

Can we help solve the problem??

Parents

  • It's a horrible thing, I know. My autism diagnosis actually helps me feel less guilty about having suicidal thoughts because, as you say, it's more common amongst people with ASD and there are good reasons why that is - that's not to imply that the reason is simply because life is cr** for us (it isn't necessarily so always) but because of alexithymia and other things that I forget right now. I read a very interesting academic paper on it a month or two back - I'll see if I can find it bookmarked somewhere.

    One mental trick that I have found is to use a *previous* episode of suicidal ideation to help unstick me when I start ruminating or prevaricating; I say to myself "If you previously wanted act in such an extreme way as to die, then you can damned well make this purchase without extensive research or live with the fact that you might have previously made mistakes and sod the consequences." Any risk we take now or in the future pales into insignificance alongside the act of suicide. I suppose this aligns a bit with the Buddhist idea that if you can let go of (attachments to) "things" - physical, situational, relational etc, you reduce your suffering. So - if you have ever been prepared to let go of life entirely, use that mental energy instead to let go of "things" whilst staying alive, thinking "sod it" and having fun - what's the worst that could happen?

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    Prof Sarah Cassidy is the expert on this subject in the UK I believe. I have been in touch with her and her official line is that it is not known why asd people have a higher suicide rate than NTs, but my theory is that it is to do with obsessional rumination of negativity. However, doing a study to prove this would be very difficult,although does seem possible. I had tried to start doing it on  another blog site , but got banned as they didn't want / allow research. I seem to get in to trouble whatever I do!

  • Former Member
    Former Member in reply to DaveAsperg

    https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-019-0550-x

    Childhood trauma, life-time self-harm, and suicidal behaviour and ideation are associated with polygenic scores for autism

  • in reply to I'm done with Christmas Cards

    such is an Aspie; harsh self criticism and logical actions; hence suicide and premature death??? Unless we find a goodway forwards

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