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obesessive regrets and suicide ?Trigger

DaveAsperg

I look on here a lot trying to understand autism and why we have such a high suicide rate. I have been plagued with suicidal ideation for 6 years now and do not want to die, but I don't think many people understand how the 2 opposite thoughts can exist. I have a feeling of inevitability that my life will end soon, but have been prosecuted for this which makes me feel even worse. I have been devoting all my life and finances to trying to beat this, but seem to be failing and the police prosecution and media lack of understanding made things very much worse.

It is well recognised that we as autistics have a high suicide rate and my feeling personally is that is we have such a mental focus on one thing at a time, which is helpful if that is a work related or competitive matter, but terrible if it is a focus on negativity and suicide.

I am in England and should be celebrating the victory today but instead was thinking how I had let my children down by not taking them to the national rugby games in their childhood, when I had the opportunity as living near Twickenham.

Dwelling on negativity, which lots on here do , seems very bad, especially if we reach suicidal ideation.

Distraction ? may help. Keeping busy with positivity if that is possible, but isolation and rumination seems very dangerous.

What do others think??

Can we help solve the problem??

Parents

  • It's important to have something to "hold on to", when the suicidal thoughts are at their strongest, and it ideally needs to be there already because when the time comes you aren't thinking straight. It will differ from person to person, but for me now the things which would stop me are my children and my Christian faith. (Not through fear of hell, but by having a belief in a loving God who exists beyond all the c**p happening in the world and inside my own head.) And sometimes just thinking that I could end my life if I chose has, ironically, calmed me down enough not to do it.

    On occasions when I've had suicidal thoughts, I can see that it has been more of a desperate wish to be out of a distressing situation in which there seems no other way out, rather than a wish to die. "This too shall pass" is a cliché which can sound very trite, especially if you're in the metaphorical abyss, but it's still true.

    (I hope I haven't caused anyone unintentional distress with my reply.)

Reply

  • It's important to have something to "hold on to", when the suicidal thoughts are at their strongest, and it ideally needs to be there already because when the time comes you aren't thinking straight. It will differ from person to person, but for me now the things which would stop me are my children and my Christian faith. (Not through fear of hell, but by having a belief in a loving God who exists beyond all the c**p happening in the world and inside my own head.) And sometimes just thinking that I could end my life if I chose has, ironically, calmed me down enough not to do it.

    On occasions when I've had suicidal thoughts, I can see that it has been more of a desperate wish to be out of a distressing situation in which there seems no other way out, rather than a wish to die. "This too shall pass" is a cliché which can sound very trite, especially if you're in the metaphorical abyss, but it's still true.

    (I hope I haven't caused anyone unintentional distress with my reply.)

Children
  • in reply to Misheard Lyrics

    Very nice to have a comment from the heart, Also acknowledging that "this too shall pass" is a cliche and for some it does not. I too am a Christian, was a church warden and very involved with church, but aware I am no longer much use to them and have a much lesser role now than before ( is this status anxiety - self depricating again). God has a role for all of us and may be my role is not to be around much longer. My 3 children are all medics and understand somewhat, but we medics (of the old style) were always happy to put ourselves out for others ?even if it meant severe pain and loss. Most current doctors do not seem to work in the same commitment to a vocation, but seem very focussed on money and workload and their outside life. I was speaking to another older doc recently , who was continuously on duty for 6 months with only 2 hours off duty!

    In my day......................

    I appreciate any comments, what ever they are, but hope this won't get taken down ( maybe it won't at weekends as less monitoring)