Work stress/getting overwhelmed query

Hi,

Got diagnosed with Aspergers in April this year, and while it has been helpful to a degree honestly it's almost raised more questions than it's answered as looking into it I've just found a huge list of possible effects it could have to the point that even explaining it to people is difficult besides just dumbing it down to "to literal don't read people". One of the major issues I'm finding currently is in work, I work full time in an annoyingly open-plan office, and most of the time I can cope and just focus on work, but sometimes minor things just seem to either massively stress me out or cause a complete breakdown (honestly not even sure what I'd call it), yesterday for example I had to change 2 passwords, ended up putting the wrong 1 in to often and thus started 3 hours of trying to sort it out as our companies system for it is ridiculously convoluted, and by the end of it was I so stressed out and tense I couldn't calm down and ended up having to go and work from home, which tends to sort me out fairly quickly.

So to the question, is this actually anything to do with Aspergers or is it just entirely separate not coping with stresses well? and if it is related is the best way to sort it actually any different to other people? The person who did the assessment made a point of some things are other people just need to learn how to deal with people with Aspergers, but there is some stuff you need to work on, however I've been finding it very hard to even confirm what is definitely part of it and what could just be 1 of the other things that can come with it. It's made worse as well as I live with a friend who's advice is always "you just need to grow up and deal with stress like everybody else does it's nothing to do with Aspergers", which is mainly her view as her boyfriend has Aspergers as well and doesn't have this as an issue, so at this point I'm just not sure if she's right and is just being harsh about it, or if she's just wrongly working on a basis of "every single aspie is exactly the same so as my boyfriend isn't like that you shouldn't be either as he's my template for aspies"

Thanks in advance and feel free to say she is right and I just need to deal with it, as honestly even know for sure that's it would help, I just really don't know right now as afterwards I always know it's a stupid thing (I mean having a breakdown from locking yourself out of a computer at work is stupid), but it still ends up happening every few months and if I try to go into work the next day I end up feeling crap again, today I tried to go into work and ended up having to come and work from home again as I couldn't cope, but tomorrow I know I'll almost certainly be fine.

Parents
  • So, I'm at the 'end of the beginning' of my ASD journey (I think) after 10 months of seeing a Clinical Psychologist.

    The main thing I've learned in that time?

    • It's not always about 'the autism'...
    • Not all of your issues are due to autism...
    • Neurotypicals have many of the same issues that neuroatypicals have...
    • Whatever you are experiencing is valid...
    • You are you, you are not - and don't need to try to be - anyone else...
    • Learn to accept your feelings, thoughts and emotions BUT find a way to prevent them controlling you...

    It's a long journey (14 sessions over 9 months in my case) but just hang in there...

  • So I'm guessing that you're been diagnosed and then you decided to have some therapy sessions? Do you think that they have helped?

    I have the joy of returning to work next week after being signed off with stress anxiety (partly caused by bullying at work). But now i have two positive diagnosis for Aspergers. My union got involved before i went off sick and that caused the Management to U turn. Our company is supposed to be having a big drive in mental well being. Luckily for me, i have to see HR on my first day back (I just hope that I don't lose it!!) 

  • Pretty much... It was more a question of "I'm having all these issues... why is that?"

    It turns out... ASD - BUT, the diagnosis isn't the end of the story, it just helps inform the following sessions.

    The therapist helped me understand WHY things 'set me off' and ways to manage them, being closer attuned to myself and knowing that it's OK to say "I can't do this right now" and take a break.

    Also, recently I learned 'defusing' techniques - being able to recognise I'm having a reaction to a situation but being able to distance myself from it so I can stop it from driving me into negative behaviours.

    To take the below example an extend it - I can't necessarily create a wheelchair ramp where there isn't one, but I CAN control the way I react to the lack of a ramp and be more constructive in how I respond to the situation.

    Key is finding a good therapist.

Reply
  • Pretty much... It was more a question of "I'm having all these issues... why is that?"

    It turns out... ASD - BUT, the diagnosis isn't the end of the story, it just helps inform the following sessions.

    The therapist helped me understand WHY things 'set me off' and ways to manage them, being closer attuned to myself and knowing that it's OK to say "I can't do this right now" and take a break.

    Also, recently I learned 'defusing' techniques - being able to recognise I'm having a reaction to a situation but being able to distance myself from it so I can stop it from driving me into negative behaviours.

    To take the below example an extend it - I can't necessarily create a wheelchair ramp where there isn't one, but I CAN control the way I react to the lack of a ramp and be more constructive in how I respond to the situation.

    Key is finding a good therapist.

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