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Work stress/getting overwhelmed query

NAS64138

Hi,

Got diagnosed with Aspergers in April this year, and while it has been helpful to a degree honestly it's almost raised more questions than it's answered as looking into it I've just found a huge list of possible effects it could have to the point that even explaining it to people is difficult besides just dumbing it down to "to literal don't read people". One of the major issues I'm finding currently is in work, I work full time in an annoyingly open-plan office, and most of the time I can cope and just focus on work, but sometimes minor things just seem to either massively stress me out or cause a complete breakdown (honestly not even sure what I'd call it), yesterday for example I had to change 2 passwords, ended up putting the wrong 1 in to often and thus started 3 hours of trying to sort it out as our companies system for it is ridiculously convoluted, and by the end of it was I so stressed out and tense I couldn't calm down and ended up having to go and work from home, which tends to sort me out fairly quickly.

So to the question, is this actually anything to do with Aspergers or is it just entirely separate not coping with stresses well? and if it is related is the best way to sort it actually any different to other people? The person who did the assessment made a point of some things are other people just need to learn how to deal with people with Aspergers, but there is some stuff you need to work on, however I've been finding it very hard to even confirm what is definitely part of it and what could just be 1 of the other things that can come with it. It's made worse as well as I live with a friend who's advice is always "you just need to grow up and deal with stress like everybody else does it's nothing to do with Aspergers", which is mainly her view as her boyfriend has Aspergers as well and doesn't have this as an issue, so at this point I'm just not sure if she's right and is just being harsh about it, or if she's just wrongly working on a basis of "every single aspie is exactly the same so as my boyfriend isn't like that you shouldn't be either as he's my template for aspies"

Thanks in advance and feel free to say she is right and I just need to deal with it, as honestly even know for sure that's it would help, I just really don't know right now as afterwards I always know it's a stupid thing (I mean having a breakdown from locking yourself out of a computer at work is stupid), but it still ends up happening every few months and if I try to go into work the next day I end up feeling crap again, today I tried to go into work and ended up having to come and work from home again as I couldn't cope, but tomorrow I know I'll almost certainly be fine.

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  • If I understood correctly what they were telling me during my assessment and follow up, Aspergers isn't a fixed set of traits and challenges, individuals can experience problems with all sorts of different issues, it just happens that all are banded under the single title. So in your example your friends boyfriend may not encounter the same issues as you but that does not mean your issues are not related to your aspergers.

    In regard to your specific example regarding passwords, that is an area you are very unlikely to get any reasonable adjustments as the password policy will be organisation wide and will have been the result of many meetings and hours of decision making. 

    As such it is likely something that you will need to come up with coping mechanisms for, however coping mechanisms is something your employers can make reasonable adjustments to help you with.

    As with different people encountering different problems different coping mechanisms will work for different people. For example my manager, based on my assessment report, allows me to 'step away from the situation' when I need to in situations such as your password example. I can go outside, get some air, go through my own coping techniques to calm down and then go back in more in control of myself. I still have to make up the time if I am away for an extended period of time and make her aware if me disappearing for a few minutes is going to have an impact on others workwise, but it makes dealing with meltdowns much easier.

    What support your work can offer will depend on the company itself, your manager and perhaps which country you are in, if you are in the uk you may well find that if you present them with your diagnosis report they will do more than you might expect to make changes, especially if they are a larger company who have very extensive policies on such things and are keen to be seen to support us.

    In general you face the challenge of deciding with each issue you face whether it is practical (or even possible) for your employers to make adjustments that would improve the situation for you. this immediately will give you a list of issues you will need to find coping mechanisms for yourself, and a list that your employer or a combination of you and your employer can look to make changes to reduce the issue moving forwards

    sorry for the essay response. All just my opinion, not a qualified anything.

  • in reply to NAS ANON

    I didn't so much mean that specific example, more the just generally getting overwhelmed by innocuous things and sometimes taking a few days to fully recover, the password thing was stressful but I don't expect them to change their policy on that as it was still stupid to be unable to cope in work for 2 days over something so small.

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  • in reply to NAS ANON

    I didn't so much mean that specific example, more the just generally getting overwhelmed by innocuous things and sometimes taking a few days to fully recover, the password thing was stressful but I don't expect them to change their policy on that as it was still stupid to be unable to cope in work for 2 days over something so small.

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