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Pretending to be happy / excited when you aren't

I'm done with Christmas Cards

My wife tells me that I can't do this, and she's right. I rarely feel excited by things (especially now I'm in mid life) and faking it when I'm not is pretty much impossible.

The example she gives from years ago is that I exude boredom if we are out clothes shopping together, even if I'm genuinely interested in what she's buying. Thankfully, we don't do those kind of trips often anymore.

I'm *really* struggling at the moment to show enthusiasm for buying a new dog. My wife and step daughter are wetting themselves over it, and I wish the whole topic would just go away. We already have two dogs, that I do love and get lots of enjoyment from but had my arm twisted to get.

I love my wife so I want her to get a dog and enjoy the selection process, but I'm finding it really difficult not to come across grumpy about the whole thing because I just see hassle and expense that we don't need.

Sigh.

I'm not really looking for answers, I know the theory (and practice) of how to manage emotions and prepare for things, I'm just feeling grumpy and needing to vent, and I know this is in the box marked "first world problems". That said, I don't think it's doing my mental health any good :-(

  • Very familiar ground for me. The thing is, i have never really had any sort of decent career progression. I might be slightly better off than some people because I have basically never borrowed any money from a bank or building society. And now I'm retired abroad, and on my current visa not able to work (Well actually legislation has been passed to allow me to get a work permit easily, but red tape is sitting on its implementation.) But I daresay you really would prefer some input on dealing with it. I can only really say you probably need some sort of break from your normal routine. That's what I'm trying to do, but it isn't too easy at my age. But that 'break' doesn't necessarily have to be anything hugely dramatic, but you should put your own interpretation on 'break'.

  • I've noticed this as well, not very good at hiding my emotions about things (which tends to annoy people) and I've never understood the massively over the top seeming excitement some people get about things, I'm happy when stuff happens but I've never felt a need to be loudly happy or jump about, I honestly assumed that stuff was all just in films and TV and nobody ever did it.

  • Hello. No solutions or suggestions. Just a 'you are not alone on this' kind of post.

    For me it is with decorating and house improvements. I actively save up to make these things possible, but can never match the enthusiasm of my partner on the subject of colours or designs and positively hate the seeming endless repetition of talking about it that seems to be part of the process, my lack of enthusiasm somehow then impacting on her enjoyment of the process.

    I hope the actual dog unveiling proves a more pleasant experience after the initial mental kick back for you :-)