I've realised that among my various aspie social blunders one of the biggest ones might be rolling right over social capital in environments where it seems ambiguous or where there's no clearly definable clique.
In real 'face to face' life there's a sense that you don't say certain things around people in social leadership because it seems to suggest that you have no clue what the pecking order is or that there is a pecking order, a lot of that pecking order has a fair amount to do with who does what (the problem that a lot of people put a lot of work into various things and it doesn't show on the surface other than how people regard them), and if you're going to speak cleverly you have to do it in rather small groups and be sure you're not accidentally peacocking over the leader without providing anything of equal or greater value in terms of drudgery with respect to group involvement.
I've also noticed that intellectual conversation and people who are into it often get frowned upon because they irritate people in this manner. That makes me wonder, if I find myself online in various places - whether Facebook or other similar venues - and garnering the silent treatment simply by being even the slightest bit chatty or outgoing, it's like there's very much a 'That's great that you posted that, or that would otherwise be a good article or good piece of music but.... who the **** are you again?'. I'm talking about big forums where people come in from all over the place and don't know each other (not the NAS forum).
Any thoughts on the mechanics of that? Are there philosophical mechanics that I'm missing in my observations above or is it really as simple as everyone being lukewarm about liking anything that certain other key people haven't ? It seems like powerfully uniform behavior, I do watch them exclude a lot of people routinely and it can be tricky to spot the rhyme or reason. If it's just small-mindedness I can get over it, if I'm actually being a rascal on some level though I'd rather know it and withhold that sort of thing for the odd times where it actually would be intended as received - otherwise it's a simple communication failure and not one I'd want to continue on with.
(Disclaimer: This post is based on one I saw someone post in another Autism forum. I've edited it slightly to reflect what is true to me from the post. I'm using this person's post as they express it better than I could myself.)